Santa's Not Real ly Who You Think He Is...

As the youngest of five children, and with a semi-large age gap between me and my next closest sibling, I was never given the option to believe in Santa. I was told at a very young age, 'Santa isn't real, mom and dad buy all the presents and wrap them. No man comes down our chimney. And absolutely no bearded guy with rosy red cheeks lives in the North Pole with his reindeer and elves who make all the toys for good girls and boys.'

That was that, because that was fact.
I never got in a fight over whether or not he was or wasn't real.
I never spoiled it for friends.
I just accepted that was the truth.

When we had our first child I had a slight panic. What are we going to tell her? Am I going to go all out? Will I force my husband to dress up as Santa because I had a lack in "the magic" of it all and want everything over-the-top for her? 

She was four and half months old her first Christmas and could give two flying Fudgsicles whether or not she received a gift from jolly St. Nicholas.

Fast forward to when she and her younger sister could actually grasp the concept and I was in a mood. 
A mood that said, I never believed and I'm not bitter about it. 
A mood that said, it seems pretty unfair that 'this guy' gives one kid a Barbie deluxe, extraordinaire, mega house and another kid a slinky. 
A mood that said, if we lie to them about this will they believe us when we tell them x, y, and z?!

So I told my husband, we're not doing it. We're not doing 'the whole Santa thing."

That year I researched the origin of Santa and read about a man who was generous to boys and girls by filling their shoes (that they placed outside their homes) with little treats and trinkets. 
THAT is something I can get behind - a man who generously gave anonymously.

That year our church told us about filling shoeboxes with gifts to send to foreign countries.
We filled shoeboxes. 

The next year our small group went to our local mall where trees held tags with kids names, ages, and gift requests.
My heart was drawn to "blue jeans" for a 15 year old. "Snow pants" for a 12 year old. "A button up shirt for a job interview" for a 17 year old.
These little loves were asking for such practical items.
While the rest of our small group wanted to buy Legos, dolls, and other toys, I convinced them that at least one kid we picked was getting blue jeans!

The following year our church started something called Merry Market. 
The church members bought new gifts for newborns on up. Volunteers set it up like a store. Then they provided childcare while the parents "shopped" [everything is free] and wrapped gifts for their kids.
I love that it gave dignity to the parent to be the one who is providing said gift(s). 

So, here's the deal, the spirit of Santa is giving. 

Santa is your neighbor who buys gifts for his niece and nephews because his sister is a single mom. 

Santa is the grandparent who never sees their grandchildren but sends gifts every year anyway.

Santa is that person at your local Walmart who pays off layaways every year.

Santa is the volunteer who sings Christmas carols at their local Senior Living Home.

Santa is every single person who has given to Toys for Tots, Operation Christmas Child, Merry Market, and any other organization or event that provides gifts to people of all ages. 

Santa is every single person who gives anything during the holiday season.

So, Santa might not have a white beard, or wear a red and white suit, or have a reindeer named Rudolph.

But...

Santa is real.

Santa is you.

Santa is me. 

Santa is solely the sweet spirit of giving.

May your holidays be merry and bright,
Santa [a.k.a. Nicole]

Hospitality & Hosting

Have you ever walked into someone's home and felt so incredibly welcome? 
Or worse, have you walked in and immediately wanted to turn around?

Years ago my husband and I were invited to a housewarming party...cute couple, cute home, cute decor. Walked into the bathroom and literally had to put toilet paper on the seat and STILL squatted over that, because the seat was that nasty! It was as if that toilet seat hadn't been changed since the 70's. Gives me the heebies thinking about it now!

So let's start with the BATHROOM in regards to hosting. 

• Store extra toilet paper in a reachable/convenient spot. 
• Set out a bathroom spray or have a candle already lit. 
• Make sure your toilet is clean! Clean to the point your guests feel like they're the first person to ever use it. If you can't get it that clean, spend $30 on a new one.

Which brings me to CLEANING!

My biggest cleaning tips are:

• Start high and move low.
• Use products that work.
• Have a set routine that you can easily manage so it's more doable to do a quick clean before you host.
  [For example : you may need to break up your home by rooms and clean bathrooms on Monday's, kitchen on Wednesday's, everything else on Friday's...or whatever works best for your schedule.]
• Ask for help (from the other dweller(s) of the home) when you need it. 
• Pay someone to come do a deep clean and/or surface clean if that's not your thing.

I have found this to be the best combo
for cleaning showers and tubs.

There is nothing I love more than walking into a home that feels lived in, yet clean. If a home is too flawless I feel unwelcome. You know the one, with the perfectly staged couch where the throw pillows are so elegantly placed it would be a pity to move it even an 1/8 inch, so you don't feel like you can sit down. The books on shelves are for aesthetics, not to peruse, so you don't even take a gander. The countertops don't have a single appliance on them - do they use the kitchen?! Or when everything is white, so you feel dirty just standing in the home.

The overall feel you want your guests to experience is WELCOME!
You are welcome here! 

You are welcome to eat and drop crumbs.
You are welcome to open the fridge and grab yourself another drink.
You are welcome to sit on the couch. 

You are welcome here!

What specifically makes you feel welcome when you're the visitor?

Now emulate that in your own home! [And share with me in the comments!]

Guests just want to feel COMFORTABLE!

Something I've noticed is people love blankets!
From summer nights around a bonfire, to chatting on the couch, if a blanket is near they will use it!
For this reason, we have a basket with four blankets, and then two throws on the couch.

My husband is huge on the smell of the home, so over the years I've purchased many a candle.
We were gifted a diffuser with essential oils, which I should pull that out again, because 'the people' love the smell good stuff!

My only peeve about candles and diffusers is when they're near the food. Which, I'm guilty of placing them there. It makes sense to have the good smell by the smell you're trying to mask; however, it can taint the taste of the food. 

Speaking of FOOD, you gotta' serve something, anything!

Our first get-togethers we provided cold jarred queso with tortilla chips in the bag. 

We've since upgraded to heating the queso up, pouring it into a bowl (or last time into a fondue pot over a flame to keep it warm), and the chips also go into a bowl. 

We've really classed it up in the last 12 years. 

But seriously, food is incredibly important to hosting. 

If you can't afford to provide a whole meal for all your guests ask them to chip in and order pizza. 

We've also made homemade pizza crust and guests brought their own toppings.

We've done 'bring your own meat' bbq's where we provide the sides and condiments. 

Other inexpensive options include taco rice, pasta, charcuterie, dessert only, chili, brats + hot dogs.

Lastly, I would recommend having background MUSIC.
There are bound to be lull's in the conversation, laughter dissipates, and there is something extremely uncomfortable about deafening silence when there are more than two people in a room.
We have a Sonos speaker attached to our tv, and a portable plug-in one that we put outside if the need arises. 
Zach has a Spotify account, and I use Pandora. 

My most used stations: 

• Charlie Cunningham Radio 
• 70s Greatest Hits Radio [Mostly used while cleaning.]
• Jack Garratt Radio
• Yoste Radio
• Classical for Studying Radio [No lyrics!]
• I used to do Indie Chill Radio but haven't for quite a while so don't know what's even on it now.
• Elevation Worship Radio [I used this when hosting a woman's Bible study, and that one time (a couple weeks ago) a girlfriend came over and I had a nightmare paired with a panic attack the night before and had been blasting worship music since I woke up.]

Zach is definitely more in tune (see what I did there?! ;)) with the music. He can gauge a room and play something everyone enjoys! 

From cleaning, to comfort/feeling welcome, to food, to music, I think we've covered it all!

Whether it's inside or out, lots of people or just a couple, a full-on themed dinner or cold queso in a jar, I hope you are encouraged to host a gathering in your home! 

Have fun with it and let me know how it goes!

Peace, Joy, and Love be upon you,

Nicole

Bonus: GAMES!

I know they're definitely not for everyone, but I am literally screaming inside, so excited to be sharing our love of games!

Small Gathering [2-6 people]

• Clue
• Cribbage
• Farkle
• Mexican Train Dominoes
• Scattergories
• Sequence
• Smart A**
• Ticket To Ride
• Yahtzee

Larger Gathering [6 or more people]

• Apples to Apples
• Cards Against Humanity [Disclaimer: I have played with the "wrong" group and it was awful, so this one is a little iffy.]
• Catchphrase
• Charades
• Cranium
• Trivia
• I Should Have Known That
• Things They Don't Teach You In School
• 90's Trivia

Did I miss any of your favorites? Be sure to leave them in the comments if I did!

Adventures In Parenting Continued

Oh hello there!

Our home has been completely transformed.
The dining room is now an airplane and a car, allowing Penny and Lilly to go on their work trip.

They work on their "computers" (open books) looking for homes for people to buy - that's how they explained it to me.

Their room is their house.
Our master bedroom is the hotel.
The master bathroom has a pocket door so they use that as the elevator, which is exactly what my friend Melody and I used to pretend in her parents master bathroom. 

The other day Zach said, "just let them be kids."
It really struck me.
I am so controlling when it comes to keeping an aesthetically pleasing home at all times.
I strongly dislike toys in the living room.
I can't stand when blankets are strewn about.
But then as soon as other kids come over I don't mind that it's a free-for-all. 

I need to lighten up and let Penny and Lilly just be kids more often. 
It's so fun to see their imaginations soar. 
It's hilarious to hear their banter because a lot of it is things they've picked up from Zach and myself.

Penny loves to direct the majority of play, "How about I woke up and you told me you lost the keys." 
Lilly is cautious to create her own thoughts of where play should go.
Mainly she says exactly what Penny tells her to.
Sometimes, very rarely, she'll get extremely mad and say things like, "You never let me make anything up!"
So it's a moment of pride today when she responds, "Are they in the garbage can? Are they in the suitcase? Are they in Dorothy's car seat?" instead of saying, "I lost the car keys."

They found the car keys.
Dorothy gets put in the back seat in her car seat.
And they're off.

P "How about I rolled up all the car windows and she's like, "uhhhgghh." 
L "Uhhhgghh."
P "And then she says, "I don't want to be in this carseat." 
L "I don't want to be in this carseat."
P "Then she wants to unbuckle."

L no response

P "Then I had to chat with the police because they saw there wasn't a driver. I had to explain it's a car that drives itself." 

That's good stuff right there!

I follow @runwild.mychild on Instagram and they posted a photo with the caption, "Kids don't remember their best days of television."
It is too true. 
As a former child, I don't look back and remember days I sat in front of the tv.
I remember the moments of doing things.
I vividly remember playing frisbee in the street, tennis down at the courts, swimming at City Beach, hiking Big Mountain, camping at the Reservoir, having "yard sales" with my siblings and them never wanting my stuff because it was too juvenile for them, softball in our yard, picking huckleberries, going on drives to Glacier and the Bison Range, reading books in the library where my mom worked, and all the other times I wasn't sitting in front of a tv. 

So, what do you say?! Ready to make memories with your little loves that don't involve a tv?!

Cheers to being a memory maker, 
 Nicole 

Share with me your favorite childhood memory [could be yours and/or one you share with your kid(s)] either on Instagram @welcometothedowlers or in the comments here. 

Adventures in Parenting

Hello! I’m so glad you’re here! 

My hope is these "Adventures in Parenting" posts can be a space for parents to relate, feel encouraged, and sometimes laugh out loud from the ridiculousness that can be parenting.

You’re going to get such a fun glimpse into the lives of two amazing sisters Penny and Lilly.

I have the absolute pleasure of being their mom.

Aside from 9 months in Salt Lake City, Utah Penny and Lilly have lived in the Flathead Valley in Montana their whole lives. This area has a fleeting spring; beautiful summer that is usually interrupted when smoke from wildfires moves in; a long, cloudy fall; and a harsh, snowy winter when temperatures drop and mostly stay under 30 degrees F.

Penny and Lilly are 18 months and 1 day apart. Penny is 7 and very much looking forward to turning 8 in August. Lilly turned 6 in February. We get asked if they’re twins almost every time we are out in public. Which is really funny to me because aside from them being the same height they don’t share many physical characteristics. 

A little bit of our history:

• When Penny was 8 months old I quit my job (as an apartment complex manager) to stay home with her. I started a blog called "Adventures in Staying Home" where I shared all my new mommy thoughts, and sometimes tips and tricks I was learning. One month into staying home I got pregnant with Lilly. Two under two was time-consuming so the blog didn't get much (or any) attention.
• Our family loves hiking, rafting, traveling, and hanging out with friends and family.
• This past school year I homeschooled Penny (2^nd grade) and Lilly (Kindergarten).
• We did the whole living in a travel trailer thang for quite a few months back in 2017/2018.

I want to share a quote from a best friend's mom, Patricia Faustini, who passed away a couple years ago. "Being a remarkable fantastic mother changes peoples lives and to this you are called. Love Patti" Patti wrote this sweet encouragement to me many years ago when I was struggling with being mother. 

Sometimes parenting is overwhelming. Mom guilt is real and can consume me with doubt, fear, and general exhaustion that I'm not good enough. When Patti shared those words it was a sweet reminder that I'm enough. I am remarkable and fantastic even when [fill in the blank]. I am remarkable and fantastic even if [fill in the blank]. 

Sometimes parenting is hilarious. At 5 years old one of the girls said, "I guess my foot didn't get any sleep last night cause it's asleep." Another time she said, "Mom, you should be an octopus. Then you could cook dinner, look at your phone, do the dishes, look in the fridge." One time we were at a restaurant eating outside and a bird flew on a table and started eating the leftover food. Lilly said, "He's such a good helper cleaning that table." I laughed and said, "you are hilarious!" She immediately responded, "I was born to be hilarious!"

Sometimes parenting is just right. Routines are flowing, everyone's getting along, and all is good.

Wherever you're at today, my hope is that you know you are enough. You have everything it takes to be the best parent you can be. 

Love well, 

Nicole