For : the stay-at-home parent

Greetings!

I recently saw someone I hadn't seen in a couple years.
He asked how I've been, what I've been up to, what I do for work?

My response : "I'm just a stay-at-home mom."

Instantly, I cringed at my response.
Just. I am not JUST anything.

I am a pirate, a queen,

and a multitude of other characters.

I am an elephant, a bear,

and countless other animals.

I am a toilet bowl cleaner, cook, 

and a doer of many other household chores. 

I am a supporter, a listener, an ouchie kisser, 

and I possess a mishmash of other qualities. 

Today, as I'm planning out Christmas gifts, I am the best bargain hunter and thrift-scorer! 

I need to give myself more credit for what it is I actually do all day. 

And if I know other stay-at-home parents like I think I do, 

you need to give yourself more credit as well! 

Being a stay-at-home parent is not for the meek.
You are an eclectic mix with an extremely broad resumé.

Embrace your multiple identities!

Be the best you can be! 

Do 'work' you're proud of!

Love. Love well!

And remember, you're not just anything...

Wishing you all the best in your parenting journey,

Nicole

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Being A Parent

Oh, parents! 

May you never forget the moment your child arrived.

When your child is new to you there is this connection that is indescribable! 

You're in "the love bubble."

Penelope Joy

Lillian August

They are perfect. 
They smell so stinking delicious you really do just want to eat them right up! 

Years go on and things change :
Just like with any relationship the excitement, newness, thrill-of-it-all dissipates.

You find yourself realizing :

The infatuation has worn off...with my kid(s)!

But the thing about being a parent : there is no "breaking up." 

You're in it for the long-haul. 

So, what does this really mean?!

You have to start putting in serious work.
You have to choose to love them through it all. 
You have to start being intentional. 

Take a few deep breaths. 

Now, have a dance party! 

Allow your kids to be kids.

Let them get dirty.

Read them their favorite book over & over.

Get on their level & explore the magic in everything. 

Give them more hugs. 

Did you know kids give THE BEST hugs?!

Never forget the joy. 
Don't give up.
Love them unconditionally.
Love them well. 

Wishing you all the best in your parenting journey!  

Personality Test

Hello friends! 

I recently took a personality test. 

***I actually took it twice (just to be sure) and got the same "answer."***

Introversion (I), Intuition (N), Feeling (F), Judgment (J)

The rarest personality of all 16 - only making up 

1% of the population. 

I feel like this test expressed me in a way I haven't known how to verbalize. 

The main thing it confirmed for me : 

I see 'helping others' as my purpose in life.

It gives me chills how accurate my 'result' is and helped me better understand myself.

I desire to be honest, transparent & raw.

It's important to me that I remain authentic, genuine & sincere. 
I enjoy sharing the messy & beautiful parts of life.  

My hope is it serves as a reminder:

You are not alone in your struggles. 

You are not alone in your successes. 

I believe sympathizing connects people in the most wonderful ways. 

I encourage you all to take a personality test! 

It only took a few minutes and it was free! 

I used :
16personalities.com

*I am not paid, sponsored, or affiliated with them. I just enjoyed their free test!*

Let me know if you take the test! 

I'm curious to read your result and better understand you! 

Much peace, love & happiness,

Nicole

Reviewing My Sober October

I set a goal and I followed through.

I made it the entire month without a drop of alcohol! 

Giving up alcohol for pregnancy was easy - I had every reason not to drink.

Giving it up "just because" was more difficult than I thought it would be.

We went on vacation to Mammoth & hung out with my sisters. 

While there I wanted to cave and have a glass of wine. 

Zach and I had an evening to ourselves at a local lodge.

The package included a bottle of champagne. 

We went to Wasabi.

It's almost tradition that eating at Wasabi includes sake, beer or wine. 

I went to Canada with a friend.

I wanted a beer with lunch & sake with dinner.

Halloween was last night.

It was a long day with the girlies & I worked - I wanted to end the night with a glass of wine.

There were many weeknights & weekends in-between that alcohol was readily accessible.

Alcohol is a powerful addiction.

While not drinking, I realized how often I used to drink without reason. 

No special occasion, just a difficult day with the girls would lead to a glass of wine - that turned into the whole bottle being emptied. 

So, now that I've completed Sober October what does the future look like?

I'm more conscious of my reasons behind drinking.

My goal is to not just 'drink to drink.'

My goal is to enjoy a glass of wine and 

not feel I have to finish the whole bottle in that sitting.

My goal is to be more health conscious. 

My goal is to be a good example to my girls as to 

what a responsible adult consuming alcohol should be.

New month, new goals!

Happy November!! 

20 Things I Want You To Know & Remember

Dear little love,

I promise to always love you. 

I promise to always welcome you with an open heart & arms. 

I am beyond blessed that God gifted me with you.

I am here to help guide you in creating a wonderful life...

20 things I want you to know & remember. 

1. Love God. Above all else, pursue relationship with Jesus. Every day should start with, "Hello, Jesus!" and end with "Goodnight, God!" Pray without ceasing.
2. Go on adventures; no matter how big or small. 
3. Be a great friend.
4. Create. Play. Draw. Paint. 
5. Read something every day.
6. Get outside as much as possible. Breathe in the fresh air. Explore the outdoors. 
Skip. Jump. Run. Climb. 
7. Ooze positivity. You & those around you will benefit greatly.  
8. Accept others for who they are. 
9. Exude the fruit of The Spirit : love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness & self-control.
10. Keep it simple. 
11. Be confident in who you are.
12. Maintain your health : body, mind & spirit.
13. Love well. Love God, family, friends, acquaintances & strangers. 
14. Laugh often.
15. Enjoy your life. Enjoy the good, bad, ugly & beautiful. 
16. Sometimes all it takes is remembering to "just breathe." 
17. Admit when you're wrong & always apologize if you need to. 
18. Never lose who you are by trying to impress someone else. 
19. Make family a priority.  
20. You are enough. Quit comparing. You were created because this world needed a YOU! We need your stories, passions, experiences, failures & love. This world was meant to exist with you & everything you have to offer. So just be YOU! 

I'll love you forever,

momma

Children's Books

READ!

My mother was a librarian for 14 years of my childhood.

What did this mean for me?

I spent a gazillion hours in the public library thumbing through an assortment of stories.

I was carried away to distant lands. I had fictional friends. I learned & dreamed & explored.

Reading is magical. 

We have so many favorite children's books!
Here are some of our most favorites...

The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones 

I Love You Through & Through by Bernadette Rossetti 

Giraffe's Cant Dance by Giles Andreae

Llama Llama Nighty Night by Anna Dewdney

Geraldine's Big Snow by Holly Keller
A Porcupine Named Fluffy by Helen Lester
Panda-monium! by Cynthia Platt
The Mitten by Jan Brett
The Twelve Dancing Princesses by Marianna Mayer
Duck & Goose Find a Pumpkin by Tad Hills
God Knows All About Me by Kate Toms
Are You A Cow? by Sandra Boynton
Ten Little Ladybugs by Melanie Gerth
Witzy's Fun Bath by Katie Kobble
P-O-T-T-Y by Kathy Ireland

I encourage you to read to your children! 

Open up new world's for them.

Create a special bond through reading together. 

I promise you, your child(ren) won't be the only one benefiting! 

Enjoy!

Nicole

Sober October

Hello friends,

            I want to share with you a decision I made. I want to make a public confession. And I want to share so I'm held more accountable.

Backstory::

In July I started feeling a constant, dull, but throbbing pain in my abdomen and back. 

I felt tired all of the time. 

I "lost it" multiple times a day [crying & yelling].

After a few times of keeling over in such intense pain, falling asleep in the middle of the day, negative pregnancy tests, and 100% not feeling like myself, I finally went to the doctor. 

Blood work, an ultrasound, and a CT scan later I still have no answers. 

Confession:

I started drinking because it was the only thing that numbed me. 

I'm not sure if it numbed the pain or my mind, but I "felt better" with a drink or two in me. 

Fast forward to the end of September ::

I gained so much weight that none of my jeans fit. 

A night without drinking would reveal the pain in my abdomen & back was still very present.

Masking the initial issue with drinking is not healthy. 

It's not healthy for multiple reasons. 

I'm sure you all are thinking, "DUH!" 

Sometimes you have to figure stuff out on your own.

People can have the best intentions, but their words are hollow unless you yourself desire the change. 

I had to make the decision to quit drinking for 31 days on my own.

Three days into a sober October and I am realizing a few things ::

I have a very addictive personality. 

I thrive on routine. 

I enjoy wine, very much.

Accountability:

By putting this out here for whomever to read; I'm promising not only myself, but you [the reader], that I'm going to commit to not drinking for the full 31 days of October. 

Cheers to health, wealth, happiness, and a sober October! 

With love,

Nicole

hot ham & cheese crescent rolls

I had to share our delicious weeknight dinner! 
If your oven doesn't take a year to preheat like mine, then you could have this ready in about 30 minutes!

Serves four. If doubling the recipe use a 9x13 pan. 


Side of vegetables ::
Frozen zucchini, yellow squash, broccoli, cauliflower & carrots (use whatever is on hand)
Put olive oil in a pan over medium-high heat. 
Throw in veggies and sauté until water is mostly evaporated. 
Season with seasoning salt (I love Lowry's).
Pour in 1/4 - 1/2 cup of broth (I used beef but chicken or veggie would work too)  
Simmer until all liquid has evaporated. 

My "all I had on hand marinara sauce" ::
Mix together ---
8oz tomato sauce
1Tbsp red wine vinegar
Dash of each of the following
garlic powder
oregano
thyme
basil
parsley
kosher salt (regular works too)
pepper

Ham & Cheese rolls ::
1 can crescent rolls
6-8oz deli sliced ham
6-8oz deli sliced cheese (I used provolone (then took picture with colby jack because I already threw out the provolone bag!) but you could use any cheese you have on hand)
butter
dash of each of the following
basil 
oregano
garlic powder
salt & pepper

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2. Unroll half of the crescent dough and spread it to cover the bottom of a greased 8x8 pan.
3. Bake for 8 minutes.
4. Remove from oven and spread a little butter then season with seasonings.
5. Layer 1/2 of the cheese.
6. Layer all of the ham.
7. Layer the rest of the cheese.
8. Layer the rest of the crescent rolls on top. 
9. Season again with seasonings.
10. Bake for about 15 minutes until brown (and no longer squishy in the center).

ENJOY!!

Let me introduce myself...again!

Zach, Nicole, Penelope [3], Lillian [1.5]

Hello,

     I am Nicole!

Welcome to a peek inside this Dowler house!

We are recent first-time home buyers who live in northwest Montana.

We try to get out as often as we can to explore the beauty our state has to offer.

As a stay-at-home mom my days are filled with beautiful chaos.

I could not get through this life without the ever-present hand of God.

The biggest aspects of our lives summed up in five words ::

Jesus. Family. Friends. Food. Adventure.

This blog is a place for me to get it all out : the good, the bad, the beautiful & the ugly.

Feel free to ask me anything!

Enjoy!

Nicole

Copycats

Oh friends,
         I have a confession.

This past week I overheard Penelope, age 3, pretending to be a momma.
There was a lot of negativity & yelling. 
Then as she was pretending to get Lilly ready for bed she got really sweet -- cuddly, happy tone of voice, singing songs, kisses, prayers. 

What did I learn from this? 

I appear happiest when it's time for my girls to go to sleep 

and they're mirroring my ugly! 

How does that make me feel?

Like a completely awful mom!

I have a hard time giving myself grace because once I mess up I feel like I've scarred them for life. 

I have a lot of emotional damage from my childhood.
I grew up wanting kids because ::
I was going to parent so much better.
I was going to be the best.
Then after a few years of marriage I realized how much work goes into a healthy relationship & quickly didn't want children anymore ::
I didn't want to fail.
I didn't want to let them down.

Zach & I had a fight one day.
I said, "I don't ever want kids."
Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant.
I prayed & prayed that it was a boy.
Boys seem to forgive easier - they don't seem to hold grudges as long.
A girl seemed impossible.
Penelope Joy was born.
A short 9 months later I was pregnant again.
"Please God, I am BEGGING you...I cannot ruin two girls lives!"
Lillian August was born.

"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord. 

"Plans to prosper you & not to harm you. 

Plans for a hope & future." 

Jeremiah 29:11

I realize God knew what He was doing when he blessed me with my two little loves.

Being a stay-at-home mom is my full-time job. 

This past week I failed miserably. 

Had I been at a "real" job they would have fired me.

Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything you do. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. Serve them sincerely because of your reverent fear of the Lord. Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you are working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, 

and that the Master you are serving is Christ.

Colossians 3:22-24

So, what's the solution?! 

I need to be the mother I hope they become one day.

I need to continue to work on me! 

Constantly. 

Constantly cleansing my heart. 

Constantly being intentional with my time & genuine joy of getting to mother my littles. 

So dear friends I'll leave you with this ::

Let's find the power in optimism! 
Let's be the best we can be! 
Let's fight our negative urges!
Let's start new positive habits! 

Wishing you all the best in your parenting!

Enjoy!

Nicole

Homebody

Homebody : noun : A person who enjoys the simple pleasures of being at home. 

Home is where I spend 95% of my time. 

Home is my comfort zone.

If I'm going to be a homebody I may as well LOVE every aspect of our home! 

Six of my thoughts when making our house home ::

1) Does it bring joy?
The question I ask about every item that's going into our home.
There is no point in spending money on items that are "trendy" but bring no flick of "oh I love this & it brings a smile to my face!" 

2) Our little loves touch/get into EVERYTHING!
I need to be practical in including style & decor that works for the whole family. 

3) Less is more!
The slightest feeling of having "too much" sends me into a tizzy! 
I crave simplicity! 

4) Mix & match & all that jazz! 
For me, this will be the most difficult aspect of creating our new home. 
How am I going to include bits of each style I love, but keep the flow & not have it look too hodgepodge? 

5) Don't compare. 
I am loving all the Instagram accounts I follow & pull tons of inspiration from. 
I also see how easy it is to be jealous, covet, or feel insecure. 

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You." Dr. Seuss

Right now this shelf is a mess, but that's our real life.

6) Stay frugal!

Stick to a budget. 

I hope you found inspiration in this post and can use it while you make your house home! 

Thrifty Mrs.

Thrift : noun : the quality of using money and other resources carefully and not wastefully.

Thrifty: adjective : using money and other resources carefully and not wastefully.

I grew up in Whitefish, Montana; a wealthy resort town. 
My family was not wealthy.
I grew up wearing hand-me-downs and items from 2nd-hand stores. 
It was embarrassing & shameful to admit at the time.
Not that my wardrobe looked any different than anyone else's. 
I actually had some really great clothes that were purchased at a fraction of what the other parents were spending. 
It was just the stigma of it not being purchased brand new that I got made fun of for.

Jump ahead to my 20's & all the "cool kids" shop frugally. 
What the what?! 

Dumpster diving. Facebook sites. Thrift stores. Craigslist. Garage/Yard sales. Vintage.

When I go thrifting I ask myself a thousand questions, but I ask these two most often //
1) Who donated this item?
2) Why did they donate this?

Thrifting is so fun/funny to me. 
A bunch of inexpensive stuff others don't want that I find incredibly perfect for my family! 

Personally, I've always loved the thrill of the find. 

A $136 Free People dress that looks like it was worn once for $4.75//SCORE!
A 50¢ wood durian that I painted white//SCORE! 
Finding things for my two little gals that we could otherwise never afford//SCORE!

*Even better SCORE is that I typically only shop 50% off colors/days at thrift stores!*

As we look into decorating our new home I seriously can't justify spending full price for anything!
It's definitely fun to keep up with the all the latest trends. 
However; it's definitely not in our budget!

I am extremely excited to show all our before & afters. 
I am beyond excited to decorate & bring our home to life in our own joyful way! 

Now we all just wait until we move and I can start the process of making our house home, one thrifted piece at a time! ;)

The flowers came in a bundle of about 10 and I got them all for 50cents.
The giraffe was 50cents and I spray painted it white.

Our front porch fall decor.
Every decor item was thrifted!

Third offers a charm?

Hello!

I wanted to share a new update with you all!

The housing market is extremely competitive in Northwest Montana!

Houses in our price range are getting snagged within a few hours of being put on the market. 

We've looked at probably over 20 houses & put in three offers. 

First offer ::
1,000sqft 3 bed, 2 bath - a little outdated - vaulted ceilings - 4 fruit trees - massive back yard - quiet & convenient neighborhood.
The issue :: the previous owner chain-smoked in it for 15 years [vomit]. The second we walked in our eyes and chests were burning. But we saw so much potential we decided to make an offer and hope & pray that all our hard work would get the smoke smell out.
Our offer was refused.

Second offer ::
2,200sqft 3 bed, 1 bath with potential to add 2 bed, 1 bath in basement - move-in ready - perfect layout - convenient neighborhood.
The issue :: it was backed up to the middle school.
Someone offered over asking price & snagged it.

Third offer ::
The second offer happened on Tuesday. I was feeling quite defeated.
Were we ever going to find our home??
Wednesday morning I sat down at the computer.
I prayed, "Okay God, show it to me!"
I clicked "new listings" and it was the only one.
Built in 2005 - ranch style - 1,300sqft 3 bed, 2 bath on a 1/4 acre lot - convenient but on the outskirts of town - huge backyard with an awesome playset.
I recognized the street address, we would be two doors down from some very good friends + a block-ish away from our bestie!
I text Zach immediately and he got ahold of our [amazing, truly amazing] realtor to set up our showing.
The more I looked through the photos I could imagine everything set up.
I kept repeating, "Ooh, momma loves this house way too much."
Penny saw the playset and asked "ooh, that be my slide?"
Then she saw the kid bedroom, "ooh, that be my bed?"
Thursday we were the first of five showings.
I went in with complete peace. Zach paced back-and-forth while thinking things through.

Finally, we sat down at the kitchen bar & made our offer right then & there. 

That evening we received the call that our offer was accepted!!

Things are moving right along!
This Wednesday is the inspection.
I just keep praying that everything checks out perfectly and it'll be smooth-sailing!
Closing date is scheduled for June 15th.

I'm still practicing patience & complete faith in God! 

It's definitely a challenge not going out and buying ALL THE THINGS to fill the house. 

With so much inspiration on Instagram & Pinterest I truly cannot wait to start making it home!

Zach keeps reminding me to not get ahead of myself. 

To wait until we actually have the keys in our possession...

but I'm just so dang EXCITED!!!

Thank you for following along on this journey!

Nicole

8 moves in 7 years

A peek into our journey so far...

July 11th, 2009 we were married. 

1st move : our housing fell through so we lived with my in-laws for a few weeks. 

2nd :: We moved in with Zach's brother, his wife & their two boys for almost three months.

3rd :: Finally our first home of our own! A 950sq ft 2 bed 1.5 bath apartment. 

4th :: I became manager of the complex so we moved into the 1500 sq ft 3 bed 2 bath manager's unit. Penny's first house! 

5th :: I quit to become a stay-at-home momma so we found a 2 bed 1.5 bath apartment attached to someone's shop. It was a wonderful home & Lilly's first house! 

6th :: Bigfork! Zach's office moved so we moved to be closer to his work. 2 bed 2 bath with shag carpet and popcorn ceilings..every renters dream! 😂

7th :: The big house that broke the bank! We desperately wanted to be back in Kalispell (especially after Zach's work moved offices again!) so some friends offered us an opportunity that only comes around once in a lifetime. Gorgeous home & an awesome 40 acres to play in. We set up a cross-country ski track, had a herd of elk pass through, bonfires, and many wonderful memories were made in that home. Unfortunately the utilities were astronomical for us & we just couldn't afford it any longer. 

8th :: back to the in-laws! With most of our belongings in storage! 

I honestly couldn't ask for better people to do this season with. My in-laws are some of the greatest people to walk this earth. We are so incredibly blessed by them! 

Right now we are looking to purchase a home! 

We've put in an offer on one, but it was refused. 

So we're working on patience. Playing the waiting game. Holding out for the perfect house that God has planned for us! 

I grew up in the same house my first 18 years.

Zach's dad was a Marine so they moved every three years. 

I crave stability.

Zach loves the unknown.

I'm wanting our forever home.

Zach is intrigued by investment properties.

Ultimately "home" is wherever my family is. 

BLOG MERGE!

Dearest readers, 

I've decided to merge my two blogs. 

I had this grand plan to have an Instagram & blog solely for our home decor/updates/diy/etc. but quickly figured out I'm not cut-out for the one theme thing! 

So the next few posts are going to be posts from my other blog - I apologize if you were following along and are now seeing these a second time.  

Now, my hope is to keep up with THIS blog. 

Prepare for a hodgepodge/mishmash/multifaceted/eclectic collection of writings!

So much love to all! 

Enjoy!

   

 Nicole

Learning a thing or two...

6:30am      

I'm awoken by the shrieks of Lillian. 

I grab her & head back to bed.

Only I'm not going to try and sleep anymore.

I'm getting on my phone to browse Instagram & then Facebook.

Jealousy. Insecurity. Bitterness. 

Just a few nasty feelings that like to creep inside my heart & mind while scrolling.

A peek into my thoughts...
Here we are in-between houses and everyone is posting pictures of their perfectly decorated living room where 10 friends are gathered around a gourmet spread of yummy treats.
1. Where was my invite?
2. Darn you for having a home!
3. I like food. 
**Seriously?! What the HECK is wrong with you Nicole!?!**

But here's the thing...I know I'm not alone in thinking this way!

In this day and age it is easier than ever to compare yourself to other's.
Social media has created an instant way to feel insecure, jealous, and bitter about anything and everything you struggle with.

"Comparison is the thief of joy!" Theodore Roosevelt

Well ain't that the truth, Theo - thanks for those wise words!

"The bad news is - time flies!

The good news is - you're the pilot!"

Michael Althsuler

The other day I decided it's time I start to count my blessings!
Life is way too short to be jealous of others.
I need to get up off my bum & create the happy life I'm so bitter about everyone else having.
I need a heart check.
I need to alter my mindset.
I need to focus on LOVE & JOY!

Love yourself!

Love your friends & family!

Love a stranger!

Love doing what you do!

Love your life!

Be truly happy for other's & encourage them!

I'VE GOT THE JOY, JOY, JOY, JOY - DOWN IN MY HEART!

You were not called to live someone else's life. 

You were called to live your life. 

NOW is the best time to start being the best you!

Love, 

    Nicole