Sober October

Hello friends,

            I want to share with you a decision I made. I want to make a public confession. And I want to share so I'm held more accountable.

Backstory::

In July I started feeling a constant, dull, but throbbing pain in my abdomen and back. 

I felt tired all of the time. 

I "lost it" multiple times a day [crying & yelling].

After a few times of keeling over in such intense pain, falling asleep in the middle of the day, negative pregnancy tests, and 100% not feeling like myself, I finally went to the doctor. 

Blood work, an ultrasound, and a CT scan later I still have no answers. 

Confession:

I started drinking because it was the only thing that numbed me. 

I'm not sure if it numbed the pain or my mind, but I "felt better" with a drink or two in me. 

Fast forward to the end of September ::

I gained so much weight that none of my jeans fit. 

A night without drinking would reveal the pain in my abdomen & back was still very present.

Masking the initial issue with drinking is not healthy. 

It's not healthy for multiple reasons. 

I'm sure you all are thinking, "DUH!" 

Sometimes you have to figure stuff out on your own.

People can have the best intentions, but their words are hollow unless you yourself desire the change. 

I had to make the decision to quit drinking for 31 days on my own.

Three days into a sober October and I am realizing a few things ::

I have a very addictive personality. 

I thrive on routine. 

I enjoy wine, very much.

Accountability:

By putting this out here for whomever to read; I'm promising not only myself, but you [the reader], that I'm going to commit to not drinking for the full 31 days of October. 

Cheers to health, wealth, happiness, and a sober October! 

With love,

Nicole