Hello!
Sharing every nitty gritty detail of your life with everyone isn't what makes you authentic.
Authentic = genuine = sincere = truthful = free from deceit.
If someone wants to ask a question I will do my best to respond with truth.
Otherwise, I'm just going to share what you call "shallow" details
to fill people in on recent thoughts & happenings of my life.
As stated in my bio, my hopes of sharing have remained the same...
"I hope that my readers can relate, laugh, or find inspiration."
Let's catch up...
Overview
Three weeks ago we loaded the Uhaul and hit the road for Salt Lake City, Utah.
Why SLC? Hubster got a great job offer we couldn't refuse.
Living in the same valley for 28 years, in small town Montana, brings a comfort I didn't know I'd miss so much!
I miss the people back home the most, that is for sure.
Things I took for granted other than people that I miss a whole lot :
- Knowing my surroundings for hikes, drives, adventures, camping, swimming, etc.
- Knowing the best restaurants, coffee shops, grocery stores, thrift stores, etc.
- Owning a 2nd vehicle
- Hosting get-togethers
Okay, enough complaining...we are settled and enjoying exploring our new city!
Staying home and raising our girls is still the most difficult, yet rewarding "job" I've ever had.
Questions from a 2 and 3.5 year old :
Could you massage me for all the times?
Can you read me all the books?
Can you hold me for all the minutes?
Give me all the seconds to finish coloring.
**That last one is more of a matter of fact statement opposed to a question! Ha!
As I'm sweeping up popcorn crumbs Penny states, "me and Lil sure make a lot of messes."
Girrrlll, you don't even know [insert : sideways cry-laughing emoji]!
"Thinking of your child as behaving badly
disposes you to think of punishment.
Thinking of your child as struggling to handle
something difficult encourages you to help
them through their distress."
Gottman Institute
A few thoughts floating around in my head regarding parenting:
Discipline is extremely important, NOT punishment. Two very different things.
Always follow through.
Be active, play & learn with them!
Quit comparing your child to your other children, their friends, or anyone for that matter.
Help set your child(ren) up for financial success. This doesn't mean giving them cash.
Teach them basic principles : Save-Give-Spend.
It's okay for mommy's & daddy's to take time-outs, too!
Sometimes we need to set the timer to breathe and refocus.
Time-outs are meant to help you come back to the situation with a clearer head and calmer attitude.
Stay wild, my child!
I hope your curiosity always keeps you adventurous!
Wander often, wonder always!
Marriage
In a week we will celebrate 8 years of marriage.
"To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever you’re right, shut up.”
-Ogden Nash
A few of my personal goals for our marriage:
Be the change I wish to see in our relationship.
Take responsibility.
Complain without blame.
Date my mate!
Set an amazing example for our girls, friends & family to aspire to.
Some encouragement I want to share :
At our church they asked for prayer requests and later revealed that 80+% were along the lines of "for my marriage."
More than half of all marriages end in divorce. We have a problem. But we also have the solution : keep Jesus at the center.
Realize that by fighting for your marriage you put a target on your back.
The devil is here to steal, kill & destroy.
So what can you do? Pray for your spouse + for your marriage.
Realize that you have the power to change you - not your spouse.
I really mean it when I say, be the change you wish to see in your marriage!
I'm working on it, too!
I am currently reading the book, "What's It Like Being Married To Me?: And Other Dangerous Questions."
I would encourage you to really ask yourself that question...what's it like being married to me?
Don't like the image that question conjures up? CHANGE YOURSELF!
Start new habits.
Be curious about the person you share life with.
Find the FUN again.
Fight for your marriage.
REBUILD & BLOOM!
Invest in your marriage!
I believe spending 15 minutes a day & at least an hour a week dating your spouse will positively impact and flourish your marriage!
*If you can't afford a weekly babysitter for date night - child watch swap with other couples!*
I'll end with these open-ended questions I came up with to ask your spouse.
You can each ask one or two every day/night as an easy way to connect for those 15 minutes I talked about earlier...
•How can your spouse be praying for you?
•What is something you're looking forward to?
•Is there any non-sexual touch your spouse can engage in more to help you feel loved?
•How do you feel about our sex life lately?
•If you gave $10,000 to a charity, which one would you choose and why?
•If you have a bad day what are 2 things your spouse can do to make it better?
•If you could spend one hour alone with someone (dead or alive) who would it be? What would you do? Why?
•If you were a sound what would it be?
•Five things you want to buy but you've been putting them off?
•Would you like to be famous? If yes, what do you want to be famous for?
•What is something your spouse could do today or tomorrow to make your day better?
•What goals do you have for us?
•Is there any conversation you've had in the past week that you feel incomplete about? Need more clarity about?
•What is your dream 3-day weekend?
•What are 3 states you would like to visit? Why?
•What are 3 things on your bucket list?
•If you could bring back one toy from your childhood what would it be and why?
•What is something I can do to help you out this week?
•What is something your spouse does or says that turns you on?
•3 favorite places to be kissed on your body?
•You're writing a story...what is the main character's name? Occupation? Location?
•What is your favorite restaurant?
•If you could have any job what would it be?
•What is your dream car?
•What is the first thing you would do if you won the lottery?
•When do you feel the most loved by your spouse?
•What 3 countries would you like to visit? Why?
•If you could speak another language fluently what would it be? Why?
•If you could be insanely talented in one thing, what would it be?
•What was your favorite part of today?
•Describe yourself with one word.
•Do you have any phobias? If so, what?
•In high school what was your favorite subject? Least favorite?
•What do you think about when you first wake up?
•What is your favorite dinner?
•What is something you're glad you'll never have to do again?
•If you owned the world's largest collection of something what would it be?
•In what ways do you communicate dissatisfaction with your spouse?
•What are 3 things your spouse does that you couldn't live without?
•What is your favorite thing about Spring(any season)? Why?
•Pick one area of your marriage where you have a problem. Describe what is wrong and what each of you have done to solve it.
•What do you think God is doing in your marriage right now?
•What do you think you need to do as a couple to get from where you are to where you need to be?
•Is there anything your spouse did this past week that may have unknowingly hurt you?
•What is something that never ends well?
•If you had to write a note to your younger self, what would you say in only 3 words?
•In what ways have you attempted to communicate love and appreciation to your spouse today?
Closing
I truly hope this post gave you some encouragement!
As always, if there's anything I can be praying for you for, feel free to ask!
With love,
Nicole
