Pursuing Growth

Have you ever been to church camp?
If so, then you know that feeling of a spiritual high - that intense closeness to Jesus!
Camp ended, and you went home.
It was then that you realized friends and family back home didn't have the same enthusiasm as you.
Slowly [or maybe quickly] your feelings dissolved and life was back to "normal."

The same thing happens in other situations, too.

--You read a marriage article that fires you up! You are now determined to have the best marriage ever until your spouse comes home with a *cuss* attitude and makes a snarky comment.
--You listen to a sermon and feel the Holy Spirit moving tangibly through your body, giving you tingles and a lump in your throat. Afterward, you get in your car and someone cuts you off.
--You have a conversation with someone and feel all the wisdom and knowledge of everyone who has ever lived before you come flowing out of your mouth. Conversation over. You spend the next several days doing the exact opposite of taking your own advice.

What steps can you take to ensure that "mountain top moment" keep going as long as possible?

You have to consciously + intentionally CHOOSE to keep pursuing those "highs."

Most of the time you need an attitude alteration - a small shift to a more positive perspective.

You've heard Newton's first law of motion: 

"a body in motion stays in motion, and a body at rest stays at rest."

And so it is with your spirit.

You have to constantly be seeking positive growth in your spiritual life.

No one can do the work for you.

You must pursue Jesus on your own!

Read your Bible. Do devotionals. Listen to worship music. Attend church, and small group. 

Ask friends and/or family to join you in theological discussion. 

It is solely up to you to stay connected, to seek Jesus with your whole heart, to desire Him, and to live a thriving life keeping Jesus at the center.

I think it's also important to note that living on that mountain top ALL of the time is unrealistic.
In life, you will find valleys as well.
The thing to remember about those times is that growth can happen there, too!

"I will exalt you, Lord, for You rescued me. You refused to let my enemies triumph over me.

O Lord my God, I cried to You for help, and You restored my health.

You brought me up from the grave, O Lord. You kept me from falling into the pit of death."

Psalm 30:1-3

Peace + Growth. 

Love well,

Nicole

Life Right Now

Hello!

Sharing every nitty gritty detail of your life with everyone isn't what makes you authentic. 

Authentic = genuine = sincere = truthful = free from deceit.

If someone wants to ask a question I will do my best to respond with truth.
Otherwise, I'm just going to share what you call "shallow" details
 to fill people in on recent thoughts & happenings of my life.
As stated in my bio, my hopes of sharing have remained the same...
"I hope that my readers can relate, laugh, or find inspiration."

Let's catch up...

Overview

Three weeks ago we loaded the Uhaul and hit the road for Salt Lake City, Utah.
Why SLC? Hubster got a great job offer we couldn't refuse.

Living in the same valley for 28 years, in small town Montana, brings a comfort I didn't know I'd miss so much!
I miss the people back home the most, that is for sure. 

Things I took for granted other than people that I miss a whole lot : 

• Knowing my surroundings for hikes, drives, adventures, camping, swimming, etc. 
• Knowing the best restaurants, coffee shops, grocery stores, thrift stores, etc.
• Owning a 2nd vehicle
• Hosting get-togethers

Okay, enough complaining...we are settled and enjoying exploring our new city!

Little Loves 

Staying home and raising our girls is still the most difficult, yet rewarding "job" I've ever had.

Questions from a 2 and 3.5 year old :

Could you massage me for all the times?

Can you read me all the books?

Can you hold me for all the minutes?

Give me all the seconds to finish coloring.

**That last one is more of a matter of fact statement opposed to a question! Ha!

As I'm sweeping up popcorn crumbs Penny states, "me and Lil sure make a lot of messes."
Girrrlll, you don't even know [insert : sideways cry-laughing emoji]!

"Thinking of your child as behaving badly 

disposes you to think of punishment.

Thinking of your child as struggling to handle 

something difficult encourages you to help 

them through their distress."

Gottman Institute

A few thoughts floating around in my head regarding parenting:

Discipline is extremely important, NOT punishment. Two very different things.
Always follow through.

Be active, play & learn with them!

Quit comparing your child to your other children, their friends, or anyone for that matter.

Help set your child(ren) up for financial success. This doesn't mean giving them cash. 

Teach them basic principles : Save-Give-Spend.

It's okay for mommy's & daddy's to take time-outs, too!
Sometimes we need to set the timer to breathe and refocus.
Time-outs are meant to help you come back to the situation with a clearer head and calmer attitude.

Stay wild, my child!

I hope your curiosity always keeps you adventurous!

Wander often, wonder always!

Marriage

In a week we will celebrate 8 years of marriage.

"To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup, 

Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;

Whenever you’re right, shut up.”

-Ogden Nash

A few of my personal goals for our marriage:

Be the change I wish to see in our relationship.

Take responsibility.

Complain without blame.

Date my mate!

Set an amazing example for our girls, friends & family to aspire to. 

Some encouragement I want to share :

At our church they asked for prayer requests and later revealed that 80+% were along the lines of "for my marriage."
More than half of all marriages end in divorce. We have a problem. But we also have the solution : keep Jesus at the center.
Realize that by fighting for your marriage you put a target on your back.
The devil is here to steal, kill & destroy.
So what can you do? Pray for your spouse + for your marriage.

Realize that you have the power to change you - not your spouse.

I really mean it when I say, be the change you wish to see in your marriage!

I'm working on it, too!

I am currently reading the book, "What's It Like Being Married To Me?: And Other Dangerous Questions." 

I would encourage you to really ask yourself that question...what's it like being married to me?

Don't like the image that question conjures up? CHANGE YOURSELF!

Start new habits. 

Be curious about the person you share life with.

Find the FUN again. 

Fight for your marriage.

REBUILD & BLOOM!

Invest in your marriage!

I believe spending 15 minutes a day & at least an hour a week dating your spouse will positively impact and flourish your marriage! 

*If you can't afford a weekly babysitter for date night - child watch swap with other couples!*

I'll end with these open-ended questions I came up with to ask your spouse. 

You can each ask one or two every day/night as an easy way to connect for those 15 minutes I talked about earlier...

•How can your spouse be praying for you? 

•What is something you're looking forward to? 

•Is there any non-sexual touch your spouse can engage in more to help you feel loved?

•How do you feel about our sex life lately? 

•If you gave $10,000 to a charity, which one would you choose and why?

•If you have a bad day what are 2 things your spouse can do to make it better? 

•If you could spend one hour alone with someone (dead or alive) who would it be? What would you do? Why? 

•If you were a sound what would it be?

•Five things you want to buy but you've been putting them off?

•Would you like to be famous? If yes, what do you want to be famous for?

•What is something your spouse could do today or tomorrow to make your day better?

•What goals do you have for us?

•Is there any conversation you've had in the past week that you feel incomplete about? Need more clarity about? 

•What is your dream 3-day weekend?

•What are 3 states you would like to visit? Why?

•What are 3 things on your bucket list?

•If you could bring back one toy from your childhood what would it be and why? 

•What is something I can do to help you out this week? 

•What is something your spouse does or says that turns you on? 

•3 favorite places to be kissed on your body?

•You're writing a story...what is the main character's name? Occupation? Location?

•What is your favorite restaurant? 

•If you could have any job what would it be? 

•What is your dream car?

•What is the first thing you would do if you won the lottery? 

•When do you feel the most loved by your spouse? 

•What 3 countries would you like to visit? Why?

•If you could speak another language fluently what would it be? Why? 

•If you could be insanely talented in one thing, what would it be? 

•What was your favorite part of today? 

•Describe yourself with one word.

•Do you have any phobias? If so, what? 

•In high school what was your favorite subject? Least favorite? 

•What do you think about when you first wake up?

•What is your favorite dinner?

•What is something you're glad you'll never have to do again?

•If you owned the world's largest collection of something what would it be?

•In what ways do you communicate dissatisfaction with your spouse? 

•What are 3 things your spouse does that you couldn't live without? 

•What is your favorite thing about Spring(any season)? Why? 

•Pick one area of your marriage where you have a problem. Describe what is wrong and what each of you have done to solve it.

•What do you think God is doing in your marriage right now? 

•What do you think you need to do as a couple to get from where you are to where you need to be? 

•Is there anything your spouse did this past week that may have unknowingly hurt you? 

•What is something that never ends well?

•If you had to write a note to your younger self, what would you say in only 3 words? 

•In what ways have you attempted to communicate love and appreciation to your spouse today?

Closing

I truly hope this post gave you some encouragement!

As always, if there's anything I can be praying for you for, feel free to ask!

With love,

Nicole

Rebuild & Bloom

Hello friend!

At the beginning of 2017 God gave me two words over the year : Rebuild & Bloom.

Rebuild has meant starting at the foundation!
I now begin my day by reading the Bible, praying & turning on worship music. 
This "small" change has had BIG impacts on how the rest of my day now goes.

The more I grow in Christ, the more I realize :
I am solely a vessel for God to use to further His Kingdom!

My devotional this morning was all about how God comforts us through our afflictions (something that causes pain or suffering) so that we can be a comfort to others when they go through something similar.

Are you in the midst of a trial? 
I want to pray for you, offer words of encouragement, or just help you seek Jesus' most awesome comfort!

"The Lord your God is with you,

He is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

He will quiet you with His love, 

He will rejoice over you with singing." 

Zephaniah 3:17

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. 

Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, 

for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." 

Joshua 1:9

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.

Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves."

Philippians 2:3

In a rut with your daily devotions?

Read a Proverb a day!! Take notes! 

"Their [the Proverbs] purpose is to teach people wisdom and discipline, 

to help them understand the insights of the wise.

Their purpose is to teach people to live disciplined

and successful lives, to help them do 

what is right, just, and fair."

Proverbs 1:2-3

"Guard your heart above all else,

for it determines the course of your life."

Proverbs 4:23

"The seeds of good deeds become a tree of life;

a wise person wins friends."

Proverbs 11:30

Married? Have kids? Are you a living, breathing human?

Here are a couple of my favorite verses...

"Kind words are like honey...

sweet to the soul

and healthy for the body.:

Proverbs 16:24

"For you have been called to live in freedom,

my brothers and sisters.

But don't use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature.

Instead, use your freedom

to serve one another in love."

Galatians 5:13

"Too much talk leads to sin.

Be sensible and keep your mouth shut."

Proverbs 10:19

My best encouragement is for you to really take an evaluation of your life.

Where is your number one priority?

Is it relationship with Jesus? Yes? Then keep on keeping on!

Is it anything other than Jesus? Yes? Then SEEK Jesus first, above everything else!

Vaya con Dios (Go with God),

Nicole

Copycats

Oh friends,
         I have a confession.

This past week I overheard Penelope, age 3, pretending to be a momma.
There was a lot of negativity & yelling. 
Then as she was pretending to get Lilly ready for bed she got really sweet -- cuddly, happy tone of voice, singing songs, kisses, prayers. 

What did I learn from this? 

I appear happiest when it's time for my girls to go to sleep 

and they're mirroring my ugly! 

How does that make me feel?

Like a completely awful mom!

I have a hard time giving myself grace because once I mess up I feel like I've scarred them for life. 

I have a lot of emotional damage from my childhood.
I grew up wanting kids because ::
I was going to parent so much better.
I was going to be the best.
Then after a few years of marriage I realized how much work goes into a healthy relationship & quickly didn't want children anymore ::
I didn't want to fail.
I didn't want to let them down.

Zach & I had a fight one day.
I said, "I don't ever want kids."
Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant.
I prayed & prayed that it was a boy.
Boys seem to forgive easier - they don't seem to hold grudges as long.
A girl seemed impossible.
Penelope Joy was born.
A short 9 months later I was pregnant again.
"Please God, I am BEGGING you...I cannot ruin two girls lives!"
Lillian August was born.

"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord. 

"Plans to prosper you & not to harm you. 

Plans for a hope & future." 

Jeremiah 29:11

I realize God knew what He was doing when he blessed me with my two little loves.

Being a stay-at-home mom is my full-time job. 

This past week I failed miserably. 

Had I been at a "real" job they would have fired me.

Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything you do. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. Serve them sincerely because of your reverent fear of the Lord. Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you are working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, 

and that the Master you are serving is Christ.

Colossians 3:22-24

So, what's the solution?! 

I need to be the mother I hope they become one day.

I need to continue to work on me! 

Constantly. 

Constantly cleansing my heart. 

Constantly being intentional with my time & genuine joy of getting to mother my littles. 

So dear friends I'll leave you with this ::

Let's find the power in optimism! 
Let's be the best we can be! 
Let's fight our negative urges!
Let's start new positive habits! 

Wishing you all the best in your parenting!

Enjoy!

Nicole

Heart Cleanse

I've been doing a little inward cleaning lately and my! oh my! is my heart dirty.
I harbor hate, negativity, bitterness & anger.
I didn't even know I was holding so tightly to these feelings until a few recent incidences.
How do I feel about this realization?
Wonderful!  [I hope you can detect the sarcasm.]
It is never an awesome thing to realize how ugly your heart is. 
I don't want to be a bitter old lady at the age of 25!
What young female aspires to that?!
With this ugliness happening on the inside I have come to find out it pours out of me as being standoffish and rude.
If I were asked to describe myself I would have never thought to use those two words.
I realized I was holding on to bad feelings, but not that it was making me treat people in a bad way.
I am extremely grateful for a friend who pointed this out to me.
Sometimes I can be extremely oblivious to how I treat others or the "vibes" I give off.
I would hope that all of my friends and family love me enough to be brutally honest and tell me how I'm acting is not ok.
Seriously.
Brutally honest.
I need it!
I don't want Penelope to grow up with a rude mom.
I read a blog post I found on either Facebook or Pinterest and it really spoke to me.
Raising a Kind Daughter by Kari Kampakis...basically she says to have a kind daughter you have to be a kind mother.
It makes perfect sense. 
Children mirror the actions they see.
If I want Penelope to be a sweet, kind, loving, positive individual then I need to live those qualities out myself.
Am I going to mess up still and have a bad day and act out of anger? Most definitely.
But am I going to strive really hard to change my attitude into one I want Penelope to mirror? You betcha!
Penelope deserves it.
Zach deserves it.
Truly anyone I encounter deserves it.

Proverbs 10:12

Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.

Proverbs 29:11 

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

Ephesians 4:31-32

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.