Heart Cleanse

I've been doing a little inward cleaning lately and my! oh my! is my heart dirty.
I harbor hate, negativity, bitterness & anger.
I didn't even know I was holding so tightly to these feelings until a few recent incidences.
How do I feel about this realization?
Wonderful!  [I hope you can detect the sarcasm.]
It is never an awesome thing to realize how ugly your heart is. 
I don't want to be a bitter old lady at the age of 25!
What young female aspires to that?!
With this ugliness happening on the inside I have come to find out it pours out of me as being standoffish and rude.
If I were asked to describe myself I would have never thought to use those two words.
I realized I was holding on to bad feelings, but not that it was making me treat people in a bad way.
I am extremely grateful for a friend who pointed this out to me.
Sometimes I can be extremely oblivious to how I treat others or the "vibes" I give off.
I would hope that all of my friends and family love me enough to be brutally honest and tell me how I'm acting is not ok.
Seriously.
Brutally honest.
I need it!
I don't want Penelope to grow up with a rude mom.
I read a blog post I found on either Facebook or Pinterest and it really spoke to me.
Raising a Kind Daughter by Kari Kampakis...basically she says to have a kind daughter you have to be a kind mother.
It makes perfect sense. 
Children mirror the actions they see.
If I want Penelope to be a sweet, kind, loving, positive individual then I need to live those qualities out myself.
Am I going to mess up still and have a bad day and act out of anger? Most definitely.
But am I going to strive really hard to change my attitude into one I want Penelope to mirror? You betcha!
Penelope deserves it.
Zach deserves it.
Truly anyone I encounter deserves it.

Proverbs 10:12

Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.

Proverbs 29:11 

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

Ephesians 4:31-32

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.