Pursuing Growth

Have you ever been to church camp?
If so, then you know that feeling of a spiritual high - that intense closeness to Jesus!
Camp ended, and you went home.
It was then that you realized friends and family back home didn't have the same enthusiasm as you.
Slowly [or maybe quickly] your feelings dissolved and life was back to "normal."

The same thing happens in other situations, too.

--You read a marriage article that fires you up! You are now determined to have the best marriage ever until your spouse comes home with a *cuss* attitude and makes a snarky comment.
--You listen to a sermon and feel the Holy Spirit moving tangibly through your body, giving you tingles and a lump in your throat. Afterward, you get in your car and someone cuts you off.
--You have a conversation with someone and feel all the wisdom and knowledge of everyone who has ever lived before you come flowing out of your mouth. Conversation over. You spend the next several days doing the exact opposite of taking your own advice.

What steps can you take to ensure that "mountain top moment" keep going as long as possible?

You have to consciously + intentionally CHOOSE to keep pursuing those "highs."

Most of the time you need an attitude alteration - a small shift to a more positive perspective.

You've heard Newton's first law of motion: 

"a body in motion stays in motion, and a body at rest stays at rest."

And so it is with your spirit.

You have to constantly be seeking positive growth in your spiritual life.

No one can do the work for you.

You must pursue Jesus on your own!

Read your Bible. Do devotionals. Listen to worship music. Attend church, and small group. 

Ask friends and/or family to join you in theological discussion. 

It is solely up to you to stay connected, to seek Jesus with your whole heart, to desire Him, and to live a thriving life keeping Jesus at the center.

I think it's also important to note that living on that mountain top ALL of the time is unrealistic.
In life, you will find valleys as well.
The thing to remember about those times is that growth can happen there, too!

"I will exalt you, Lord, for You rescued me. You refused to let my enemies triumph over me.

O Lord my God, I cried to You for help, and You restored my health.

You brought me up from the grave, O Lord. You kept me from falling into the pit of death."

Psalm 30:1-3

Peace + Growth. 

Love well,

Nicole

Marriage Advice

A couple weeks ago some new friends of ours got married!
I wrote them a letter and thought it may benefit other married couples, so I wanted to share it here...

When you entered into marriage, you chose to take the greatest road trip of your life!

In preparation for a road trip you typically take your car in for preventative maintenance, right?!
And so it is with marriage...make sure you are intentional with your maintenance!!

• Date your mate!
• at least 1 hour each week!
• Monthly meet!
• get together with another couple once a month
• accountability
• discuss uncomfortable/difficult topics or express the pure joys
• Jay + Katherine Wolf encouragement:
• Be prepared. Build your foundation on the Rock, because storms will come.
• Don't Wait To Celebrate!

"Marriage is spelled W-O-R-K." Levi Lusko

CONFLICT : 10% is due to difference of opinion & 90% is due to tone of voice & delivery.

*This next part is all principles from The Gottman Institute.*

Healthy Conflict Resolution : each of you seeing the other person's perspective and either agreeing to disagree or one of you shifting your perspective to match the others.

• Use A Gentle Start-Up
• I feel...about...I need...
• Example : I feel overwhelmed about always being the one to do the dishes, take out the trash & clean the toilet. I need us to come up with a schedule to delegate household chores more equally. 
• Describe Your Own Feelings and Needs
• complain without blame
• saying things like "I feel disrespected when you are doing/aren't doing,,," invites defensiveness to show up in a flash. 
• Take Responsibility
• Apologize.
• Fill Your Own Tank First
• I'm sure you've heard on an airplane "put your own oxygen mask on first and then help others." 
• In marriage you aren't going to be able to help your spouse if your own needs are't met.
• Meaning : schedule weekly guy/girl nights and/or alone time.

"Most marriages start in the wrong place - even Christian marriages - because they start with happiness as the goal. God did not create that as the goal; that was supposed to be a benefit." 

-Dr. Tony Evans

"To keep your marriage brimming,

With love in the loving cup,

Whenever you're wrong, admit it;

Whenever you're right, shut up."

-Ogden Nash

"If Satan gets an inch, he'll try to take a mile."

-Cindy Beall

The devil is here to steal, kill, and destroy.

Fighting FOR your marriage puts a big target on your backs.

The best solution is keeping Jesus at the center.

Take your gripes about your spouse to Jesus 1st and then to your spouse 2nd.

Pray often. Pray together.

God gifted you a wonderful helpmate.

Your spouse will never be perfect. Your spouse will never fill all your needs and desires - only God is capable of fulfilling all our voids.

Treat your spouse with delicate and tender care.

Do the 5 love languages test and affirm your love for your spouse in the language they receive best.

Imagine yourself a farmer.

You can't change the crop that will bloom, but you can tend to the soil surrounding your seed (spouse). 

Give your seed water (prayer), sunlight (positive affirmations), and the best soil (solid Christ-centered foundation). 

ENJOY EACH OTHER!

Praying God's blessings, wisdom, and love overflowing!