A nursing mother's wardrobe.

Boring. Horrible. NOT fashionable.
Those are things that come to mind when I think of my wardrobe while I'm nursing.
I'm going to be real honest here; I lose the "baby weight" really quick and am back in my jeans within two months (it was a week with Penny). I do have a tiny pooch that hangs over my pants while I'm sitting, but that went away around 3 months with Penny. Even though its not huge it still bugs me so I wear shirts and dresses that hide it.

My criteria for nursing friendly clothing :
1. Can easily be pulled down. The other option is to pull your shirt/dress up, but that can expose your stomach (even though I always wear an under-tank), lay on your babe's face, etc. I just prefer to pull my shirt/dress down, it's easier and feels more natural for me.
2. Loose-fitting, but not outrageously baggy to where I look super frumpy.
3. Nothing that I'll be super bummed about if it gets ruined. Your baby will most likely spit-up on you. Both my girls have spit-up, puked, pooped, and peed on me.
4. Layers! One second I'm stripped down to my tank top, the next I need a parka. For whatever reason nursing gives me hot flashes.


The past few weeks I've been seriously depressed about my clothing options.
I spent all my Christmas and birthday money on new clothes that I knew I wouldn't feel good about wearing until I was done nursing, but that's no fun! I want to look somewhat cute instead of looking like a haggard mom with no sense of style whatsoever.

So here you have a couple of my most recent outfits.

Shirt : Ross, maternity
Cardigan : Forever21
Jeans : American Eagle straight leg

Tank top : Ross
Cardigan : Forever21
Jeans : American Rag
My favorite pair of jeans, purchased off a Facebook site.
I could never afford them new. :)

Had to take a picture of this fringe. I felt trendy!  ;)

 This last outfit I'm not too sure about. Maybe it's the jeans. Maybe it's too "frumpy." I couldn't decide tucked or un-tucked.

Dress : thrift store, Old Navy
Sheer cardigan : new with tags at thrift store, H&M
Jeans : American Eagle
They're a strange straight leg because they have a slight flare at the very bottom

Good 'ol "mom hair"
Translation : I don't have time to shower every day.

What are your favorite nursing-friendly outfits?
Any advice for this momma?

Poop Explosions!

Oh my gosh you guys! I WISH someone would have shown me this trick earlier!!!!
So Penelope had three poop explosions that I can remember. When I say poop explosion I mean up the back, down the legs, up the front..you get it. With all three of those I seriously struggled to not get poop all over (even more so than it already was). I would pull her onesie off and as it was going up over her head it definitely smeared in her hair, once on her face, just EVERYWHERE!
So now with Lillian, I'm like, "hey..pro here." NOPE! And let me tell you, I don't know if we've made it three days without an explosion from this little one. It's not the diaper size (I've tried switching). So with all these explosions I was losing my mind! We're talking bath after bath, up to five in one day. So one night I'm scrolling through Pinterest and there it is : my godsend! Thank you Jesus for the person who figured this out! May this help you, whoever you are changing newborn poop explosions!

They created onesies with that fold-over flap so you can pull it DOWN over their arms, and down their body so NO MORE POOP IN THEIR HAIR (or on their face)!!! I just can't tell you how much I appreciated seeing this and now a poop explosion ain't no thang!

I hope that this helps at least one person as much as it has helped me!

mommy to two

WOW!
I'm a mother to TWO beautiful girls!

Lillian August joined our family on February 8th, 2015! At just 18 months old, Penelope has proved herself to be a wonderful, sweet big sister!

The transition to two under two hasn't been without trials, but for the most part we've found a pretty good groove.

I will say a few things have amazed me. When I say amaze, I mean this in a -- I can't get over it, it shouldn't shock me but it does, sort of way.
These things are as follows :
1. Poopy diapers.
How do two little humans create so much waste!? It is beyond me! I honestly feel like every time I turn around I'm changing another dirty diaper.
2. Spit up.
Lilly will have burped wonderfully making me think we're in the clear and then SURPRISE -- projectile spit up all over herself and me!
Penny has developed a new trait of spitting out half chewed food that she used to love but all of a sudden decides she doesn't like any more.
Between the three of us I'd say we go through at least six outfits a day..which equals LAUNDRY!
3. SO MUCH LAUNDRY!!
4. Crying.
Myself included here.
Girls are emotional creatures. Sometimes the meltdowns are easily "fixed." Other times I feel like it's endless tears until dadda comes home. We have yet to all three cry at the same time, but I'm sure that day is coming.


Those four things pretty much sum up my days.

People aren't joking when they say being a mom is a full-time (24/7) job!
Some days I applaud myself for accomplishing vacuuming. Because honestly, vacuuming has become a struggle.
I constantly find myself thinking : "How am I ever going to find the time to...?"
But you know what, my girls are happy & healthy. My husband and I are happy & healthy. God is good! Life is good!
So who cares that the mail hasn't been checked for a week, or the bathrooms haven't been deep cleaned in who knows how long because I read my girls 26 books today and did all the characters voices and facial expressions to go along with them. I changed 12 diapers. I kissed 3 "boo-boo's."
I have more important things to do now that I have TWO girls to raise, right?!
Alright, maybe I'm just talking myself out of vacuuming again. ;)

Momma Patti

I wanted to write a post in honor of Momma Patti as she was a huge encouragement to me to continue blogging:

When my friend Kimberly text me this past summer that her mom was diagnosed with cancer my heart sank. Momma Patti passed away on November 20th, 2014.

When I think of who I want to be as a mother, Patti is a major inspiration.
She is a woman I have always respected.
Growing up she was what I would call a "strict mom."
But her love for her children never wavered.
And her deep love for Christ always shone through any discipline.
She definitely loved as Christ calls us to love.

She taught me Spanish. Her love for the language was addicting.
Anytime we left her house we would call out, "abrazos y besos" (hugs and kisses), and she would respond, "Vaya con Dios" (Go with God).
She always called me Nicole Gah-nam. My maiden name is Gnam, the "G" is silent. Even after I got married, I was Nicole Gah-nam to her.
Kim and I typically stayed the night at her dad's house, but the few sleepovers we had at her mom's are still some of my most favorite memories.

"I pray you practice contentment, as Paul calls us to do, and value and love the life you have been called to, Nicole :) being a remarkable fantastic mother changes peoples lives and to this you are called. Love Patti" Patricia Faustini

I love you Momma Patti! Abrazos y besos!

Catching Up

People ask, "how have you been?"
My response, "busy!"

LAME!
Such a lame response! Haha!

So what have I/we (we as in Penelope and myself) been up to?

Really just living the typical stay-at-home mom/wife life.
Cooking, cleaning, changing diapers, playing, grocery shopping, church (which the current series ARROWS has been unreal and life changing and I wish you would all watch it!!), budgeting, meal planning, laundry, bedtime.
I've been apart of a Facebook group, that's sort of set up like an online garage sale, for over a year now and have sold SO MUCH STUFF! So some of our days are spent meeting with people. Other times we get stood up while I suffer through a migraine, super fun stuff!
I think I did a whole post on how I can't stand clutter?! Well this site allows me to sell anything and everything that I feel we don't use or have a need for anymore, all while bringing in a measly income.
Zach says I'm addicted. Yeah, I am. I am addicted to selling stuff!
Years ago I pinned an "arm knit infinity scarf tutorial" to a secret "gift ideas" board I have on Pinterest. This fall I finally decided to make one. Again, addicted. I have made over 60 arm knit scarves in the past couple months (mostly adult, but some child sizes as well)! I have sold a ton of those on that same Facebook site and have given some away as gifts. They are something I really enjoy making, and don't require a ton of time. One of the gals that has purchased a few asked if I would come to her work (an assisted living place) and do a tutorial for some of the residents! I am beyond excited to go in a couple of weeks and teach some sweet older folks how to arm knit!

Here are some pictures of some of the scarves I've made!

Zach's been busy too; working, playing drums for church, and planning his yearly hunting trip.
So this past weekend we decided to meet up with our friend Beau and take a much needed drive to Glacier National Park.

I wanted to share pictures!!

Well, now that you're all caught up on the happenings in this Dowler household I suppose this post can come to an end!
Until next time dear friends, until next time!

Death

When I'm pregnant death seems so unreal to me. Here I am carrying new life and people still die.

When I was pregnant with Penny our pastor's five year old daughter passed away. A friend from high school committed suicide. And a couple days after a dear friend lost her battle with cancer.

This past week a friend's grandpa passed away. A friend's mom lost her battle with cancer. And my thirteen year old cousin committed suicide.

Every time I hear of someone dying, my heart shatters into a million pieces. I think about all the people that know and love them and how difficult it is to continue on living without them here.

People die at any and all ages.
People die from many different causes.
But here's the thing, every single person is going to die.

The night before my 13th birthday I tried to take my own life.
That is way too young to feel like there was nothing left worth living for. But truly any age is too young to feel like there's nothing worth living for.
When I look back and ask myself why...I really don't know what I thought was so terrible about my life back then. Sure, I had family issues. I got picked on at school, and bullied by "mean girls." I was insecure. I thought I was just too average a human to ever do anything great. I figured a few people would miss me, but they would get over it. I suffered from depression and constant negative thoughts. But none of that should have led me to try ending my life.
Thankfully God took hold of me that night. And although none of my "problems" disappeared immediately, I had a completely new perspective.
I had a life worth living for. I didn't know what was to come, but now that more than a decade has passed, I can see that God had/has great plans for me. 

I want to ask anyone who is having thoughts of taking their life, please don't do it.
You can't give up, there is Hope. God truly cares about you, and He has far greater plans for your life if you'll decide to live for Him. If you're looking to friends/family to make you happy, I'm sorry to tell you, people will always let you down. We are not perfect, we mess up, we're selfish. Life is still going to have it's rough moments. But God's perfect love can heal all wounds. And truly, life's not all bad. I understand when you're in the thick of it it seems like there's no way things could ever get better, but they do.

I also want to ask anyone reading this, do you know where you're going to end up when you die?
If you don't have a personal relationship with Jesus, death can be a very scary thing.
When I think of my death I'm ecstatic for myself and sad for the loved ones I leave behind. I can't wait to get to Heaven, but I also love my family and friends and hope to live a full life blessing and loving on them.

Do you want to have a personal relationship with Jesus?
Do you want to know where you'll spend eternity after you die?
All you have to do is pray [talking to Jesus] a simple prayer (and mean it!) asking Jesus to come into your heart. Tell Him you know that He died on the cross for you & ask him to forgive you of your sins. Tell Him you turn from your old ways, and you turn to Him in faith.
It might be a huge *aha* moment. Or you might feel exactly the same. Regardless of how you feel physically, your life is changed forever!

Life is not always an easy journey, and just because you're a Christian doesn't mean life is easier. But with Christ, there is Hope. Death doesn't have to be a scary thing, it can still be a really sad thing, but you don't have to fear it.

Weekend Recap

The leaves are starting to change. The night air is crisp and refreshing.
This past Friday I made pumpkin butterscotch cookies (link here), I forgot just how addicting they are and may have ate enough to feed a small village.
I also made my favorite fall/winter soup, zuppa toscana!
That night we hosted a bonfire and my heart is still so full.
Sometimes you just need to hang out with like-minded souls and converse & laugh your cares away.
I stared into the starlit sky and just marveled at what a delightful day it turned out to be.

Saturday morning consisted of family errands.
In the afternoon Zach headed to the church, as he was playing drums all weekend.
Penny and I picked up my friend, Lauren, and we headed downtown.
We went to a local coffee shop where a friend has his amazing artwork displayed.
Then we walked to a new vintage store to take a peek.
It was so warm outside, I felt completely unprepared to go back to summer temperatures. 
I decided to attend church that night.
Usually when Zach plays I'll sit up front so we can sit together during the message.
But that night I showed up just as worship was starting and got squeezed into the middle of a row close to the back.
For those of you who don't know, I get really anxious around large groups of people. I (usually) don't go into full blown panic attacks, but just feel extremely claustrophobic. And when I'm pregnant these feelings are heightened.
I fought really hard to zone everyone and everything out and just focus on worship and then taking my notes during the sermon.
It ended up being my favorite message in this new series, ARROWS.
ARROWS is all about the family.
Maybe in the future I'll delve into my personal story about family, and why this series has been hitting me so hard.
If you have a family of your own, or plan on having a family in the future, I encourage you to check this series out...it is seriously blowing my mind!

Penny and I had a lazy start to our Sunday morning, which I thoroughly enjoy lazy starts to days!
Then came nap time, which has been a bit of a struggle.
Penny had been doing a one hour nap around 11am, and another around 3pm.
Then she quit altogether, or would do her famous "Penny 10-minute power snoozes."
Then she started going down around 12:30-1pm for about an hour and a half.
So, with this constantly changing I never know what to expect.
Well, I put her down at 12:30pm, and that girl didn't wake up until 3:30pm!!
When Zach got home around 1pm I decided to take a quick nap as well, but it ended up being a two hour nap!!
WOWZA! The crazy thing is I actually woke up feeling great and refreshed. That does not happen for me after naps. I always end up feeling more groggy.
The rest of the day continued to be mellow and relaxing, just what this family needed!

I feel like we had been go, go, go for the past few months. Trying to pack our schedule full with hikes and any outdoor activity to soak up the last bits of summer.
I'm so, so thankful for this past weekend.