Daily Struggles

There are a thousand battles I deal with every day. Sometimes I get so frustrated at myself for stressing about such minor things. Maybe some of you parents know these battles I'm talking about...

Do I take a shower or do I have greasy hair the rest of my life?

Do I let her cry for five minutes to see if she works it out herself or do I pick her up right away?

Do I graduate her to more food/the next carseat/the size up in clothing or am I rushing this whole thing because I want her to be the advanced child?

Do I get really strict with a routine or do we go with a "fly by the seat of our pants" approach? 

Do I leave her in the car while I take the shopping cart back to it's corral or do I take her with me and lug her back to the car? 
One time I left her in the cart while I unloaded groceries. A lady came up to me and startled me when she said, "you really shouldn't do that you know." At first I felt like the most horrible mother for not knowing that wasn't ok to do. Then I got angry at that stranger for telling me how to raise my daughter. Then I took a deep breath and shrugged it off. I'm sure there's going to come a time where I have Penny in the car while I'm unloading groceries and someone makes some comment about it being too hot in there [even though I leave the door wide open or the ac running]. You can never win!

In the short nine and a half months I've been doing this parenting thing I have learned SO MUCH. Not only about parenting, or about Penelope and the tiny little human she is, but about myself as well. In the beginning I really had no idea what I was doing. I still question myself. Sometimes I question Penny. Why child? Why are you crying, you have EVERYTHING you could possible need right now, why the tears? 
Recently I realized this :: Penelope is a baby, fresh on this earth, trying to figure everything out. She's growing, learning, teething, expressing emotion, and just being the baby she knows how to be. I need to remember to take a deep breath and know that Penelope is loved and I'm doing a good job raising her. I also need to remember that I can't control everything. We, as parents, need to give ourselves more grace. We're not perfect, so we're never going to be the perfect parent. 

Cheers to the daily struggles and every day battles we face! 

May we show ourselves love and grace today...and remember take a deep breath!

Get Out!

Sometimes you just need to get outside! I start to feel cooped up if we spend too much time inside, and then my crazy really starts to come out. So today Penelope and I went on a new four mile walk, then sat out in the yard when we got home. We are so lucky to have a paved path so close to our home. Today I decided to take us on Rails to Trails, but instead of going the way we normally do we headed out toward Kila. I didn't like that it sticks so close to the highway the whole way, but I did like that it had more inclines and minor hills than going the other way (toward  Kalispell). It turned out to be a beautiful sunshiny day which I was not expecting since we've had so many rainy days lately. Sometimes you need fresh air and an extra dose of vitamin D.

It has nothing to do with this post, but last night Zach brought me home "just because" flowers.

Yay for the beautiful morning we woke up to!

I told her to smile big.

Rails to Trails

This tunnel goes under the highway.

EEK!! A snake! We also saw a pheasant, Canadian geese, and multiple deer carcasses.

Ok, maybe only I saw the above mentioned wildlife, all the fresh air zonked this girl out!

The geese were down by and in the water.

Penelope playing outside while momma sunbathed for the fifteen minutes she let me. ;0)

Weekend Recap

Friday:

Penny woke up with crazy hair. I think it made her sad.

She was a crabby monster until noon when I let her eat her Ella's Kitchen pouch all by herself.

After lunch Penelope and I went shopping at a super awesome vintage/antique store and came away with a few treasures for dadda and Uncle Isaac [for his birthday].

Friday night we had some friends over for a bonfire. I didn't take any pictures.

Saturday:

Dadda left us bright and early to go ride his motorbike with the fellas. Around 5pm we headed out to Zach's sister and brother-in-law's for a birthday celebration. They live right on the Swan River; their views are amazing!

As the night winded down the boys pulled out their pipes. As it got even later in the evening we lit and sent off a paper lantern. [Ok, we set off two, but the first one crashed into the river. ;0)]
Happy 30th Birthday Uncle Isaac!

Saturday was also my in-law's 34th wedding Anniversary! I am so incredibly grateful for my in-laws. They are seriously some of the most amazing people, ever.


Sunday:


I made an awesome breakfast. I'm pretty sure I would eat breakfast for every meal if I could. Well, I do love my sushi too, maybe I would switch between breakfast and sushi. Anyway, I pulled inspiration from one of my favorite coffee shops, Coffee Traders. I developed a love for the Traders Taters, they cannot be beat!

So I fried up some potatoes.

 Heated up some black beans and fried onions.

 Fried the eggs.

Cooked the pre-cooked bacon on a skillet & chopped up avocado.

Typically I add shredded cheddar cheese [completely spaced it this time]. Zach adds cheddar, salsa, sour cream, and hot sauce.
If you make these be sure to ENJOY!

We had a pretty chill afternoon. At night I headed over to Zach's brother and sister-in-laws to watch their three kiddos overnight. A super oddity for me! I only offered to take care of them because Jacy's birthday was on Friday and Luke had won tickets to the Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas, so they wanted to get away for the weekend. Happy Birthday Aunt Jacy! Now after watching four kids at once I completely understand the NEED for date nights and weekend getaways. I love my nieces and nephews, but my goodness, it was a little rough for me. Trying to entertain a three year old while putting your own 9 month old down for bed is not an easy task. But today, as the boys were at school, Evelyn did play very sweetly with Penelope and kept her entertained so I could at least start this blog post. Play dates are important for our little ones. Interacting with other children, even if there is quite an age gap, is important for many reasons.

I am extremely thankful for family that lives close! Couldn't have been a better family-filled weekend!

Proverbs 22:6

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." 

[New King James Version]

When I was 18 or 19 I was living on my own in Kalispell, and started a new job at a great coffee shop downtown on Main Street. The building was originally a bar, but it had moved to a new location. The new owners did a wonderful job renovating and turned it into a beautiful space. There was a big open room upstairs that had a separate entrance that the owners decided to rent out to a new church. At that point in my life I had gone to an ultra conservative (lots of hymns, dressing in "Sunday's Best," etc.) church and a more spiritually led (lots of prophecy, waving banners and flags, dancing, painting on stage, etc.) church. So I was excited to try out something new, and oh boy was I blown away! The pastor spoke straight from the Bible, literally read WHOLE verses and chapters, then gave the history, backstory, and how it related to me in present day! I had never heard a sermon like it. I was interested, taking notes, learning & growing in my relationship with Christ. Seriously it was just so good. So refreshing. Needless to say I started attending regularly. My then boyfriend (now husband) Zach, started playing drums during services. When we got engaged we did marriage counseling through the church, and one of the pastors married us. The church started to grow and grow and grow. We now have six campuses (two locations in Kalispell, and one location in Whitefish, Missoula, Billings & Bozeman) across the state of Montana. You can also watch live online, or view previously recorded sermons. The church believes in being a youth-led movement, which is so awesome to see young ones serve in such huge ways. They have an amazing children's ministry which Penelope loves going to. They started an event called Skull Church. It used to happen every Wednesday, then changed to once a month event, and now it happens even less often, but Zach was asked to play in that band. The name stems from Golgatha, the place of the Skull, where Jesus died on the cross. The music is awesome, the message is always amazing, and many people give their life to Jesus each time - which always chokes me up. Fresh Life Church [www.freshlifechurch.com] has changed my life and I am so grateful that Penelope has a wonderful community she gets to grow up in. Last night we attended "Group" which consists of people from the church getting together and talking about the previous weeks message, hanging out, praying, and sometimes just having a good 'ol game night. I couldn't ask for more awesome people to surround our little one and teach her all about living a Christ-centered life. My hope is that Penelope is able to grow up feeling that she has a great purpose for her life. 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Breakfast Sandwiches

Zach wakes up pretty early to go to work, so most of the time he just wants to grab breakfast and go. I want to make sure he's not eating a bowl of cereal every morning, or skipping a meal altogether. My solution was making breakfast sandwiches ahead of time so he can pull one out of the fridge, heat it up really quick, and go.
I am not claiming to have made this recipe up, I obviously pulled inspiration from a well-known fast food joint. But I am going to suggest this is a more budget and health friendly recipe than stopping at a drive-thru.

First, I preheated the oven to 350F.
Next, I cut my english muffins in half (counting them as I did this...today I had 8).

Then I sprayed eight of the cups in my muffin pan with non-stick cooking spray and cracked in my eggs, then sprinkled them with salt and pepper. When the oven was preheated I stuck the eggs in for 23 minutes. I like the yoke hard, but don't like overcooked eggs.

Today I used breakfast patties (which happen to come in a pack of eight..YAY!), but sometimes I'll use bacon, or both. I put the patties in a pan on medium heat and fried them up.

As the eggs and meat were cooking I sliced eight pieces of cheddar cheese and placed them on the cut muffins.
Once the meat and eggs were done I stacked them on the cheese and plastic wrapped each of those sandwiches individually.

I put them in the fridge and they usually last a week and a half or so.

Whenever you're ready to eat a sandwich: we take off the saran wrap, pull it apart (usually egg on one side, meat and cheese on other), stick the halves in the oven and turn it on to 350F. Once the oven is preheated your sandwich is perfectly cooked. :) I eat mine plain, Zach adds yellow mustard.
Enjoy!

Were you wondering what Penelope was doing while I made these?

I'm just kidding. For the most part she was completely satisfied eating her apple in the mesh thing.
*Those mesh things are amazing!! I purchased two at Target for around $5 when they were on sale and I used my Target Red Card for an extra 5% off!**

Understanding Me and Where I'm Coming From

Wow! I wrote that title and then thought, holy moly there are so many parts of my background that make me who I am today. So many stories that have molded, shaped, and grown me. I suppose I'll split it up into the different sections that I'll mainly be focusing on in this blog as a whole, and give brief descriptions on those.

1. Jesus
I can honestly say I would not be here today if it were not for my merciful Savior and loving Lord.
The night before my 13th birthday I sat on my parent's kitchen floor sawing at my wrists with a paring knife. Nothing was happening, and I was getting irate! I finally started jabbing at them instead. As the hot tears streamed down my face I heard a sweet but firm voice say, "It hurts. Stop. You're hurting Me." I looked down at my left wrist and to my complete surprise I saw a faint hand covered in blood and knife markings. I blinked, over and over, and as I stared I could not believe what I was seeing. I started jabbing again, and finally broke skin in one tiny spot, but stopped as new wounds showed up on that mysterious hand. I heard the voice again, and that's when I realized it was God. In that moment I knew without a doubt that He was real. He cared about me. All those years of growing up in church and a Christian home didn't give me a personal relationship with Christ. Up until that point I lived how I wanted and then Sunday I would feel guilty, go to church with family, repent for my sins, and then go about life the exact same way. I had no idea what it meant to have a personal relationship with Jesus. As with any relationship, it's never been perfect, and I still mess up. However; that night I told God that I believe He died for me on the cross, that I knew I was a sinner, but that I wanted Him to forgive me and help me to live for Him the rest of my days. It has been a journey to say the least, but I am growing and learning every day.


2. Family
Aside from my relationship with Christ, my main focus is my role as a wife & mother. Therefore; you will quite often find me talking about things pertaining to my husband Zach, and my daughters Penelope (Penny) & Lillian (Lilly). My extended family also means the world to me, but I'll do my best to keep them out of this. ;-)
Zach and I met when I was sixteen years old, he proposed when I was nineteen, then we got married when I was twenty. It has been a whirlwind of love, hurt, laughter, anger, joy, and honest-to-goodness real marriage ever since. Four years into our marriage we added momma & dadda to our titles. Then a short 18 months later our 2nd child arrived.
I guess you should know that I claim to "not be a kid person." Basically I grew up babysitting, but it was really only because I wanted money, not because I enjoyed it. On the other hand I always had a strong desire to be a mother. Strange combo, I know. When Zach and I got married I wanted to have kids right away, but we had decided on a "five year plan" so as the years went on I strongly questioned if I ever wanted to have kids. Literally the week before I found out I was pregnant I told Zach I didn't want kids, ever. But isn't that just God's humor sometimes. He knows the desires of our heart, and He knew I didn't mean those words in the least bit when I spoke them. I had an amazing pregnancy. Truly, it could not have gone any better. I actually feel guilty when woman have or have had horrible pregnancies. I loved every single thing about being pregnant that first time around. Labor & delivery, yeah, that was amazing too! Go ahead and place me in the category of "one of those woman." ;-) If I'm feeling up to it maybe I'll give Penelope's labor & delivery story it's own post...to be determined.
After I gave birth I wasn't sure when I would go back to work. I was managing a sixty-six unit, multi-family, low-income apartment complex. There was an out-of-town conference I had to attend six weeks after Penny's birth; she came with me, but that was rough. Then I went back full time when she was just eight weeks old. Thankfully my job was flexible enough that I was able to run home and feed her whenever she needed me. My mom hadn't been working for a while, so Zach and I asked her to take care of our peanut in our home for minimal pay. It worked out great, but eventually Zach and I decided that we wanted me to be the one to stay home and raise Penny. It was a really tough decision for me for a few reasons. One of which, was the fact I wouldn't be financially contributing to our household income. I have held a steady, paying job since I was fourteen. The thought of not going to work five days a week, and instead taking care of our child, really freaked me out. The night before my first day "staying home" I had a slight panic attack. What am I going to do with her all day, every day?! Well, I guess we'll find out, won't we!

3. Food
I love food. Plain and simple, love it! I have a major sweet tooth and am constantly forcing myself to do things like "no sugar for 40 days." I love sharing recipes. I love receiving new recipes. I'll just leave it at that; I love food. =)

4. Adventure
Not going to lie, the first thing that pops into my head when I hear the word adventure is travel. I know that travel is not the only adventure though. There are tiny nuggets of adventure slipped into every day experiences. I Googled the definition of adventure and this is what popped up:

ad·ven·ture

noun

noun: adventure; plural noun: adventures

1. 1.

   an unusual and exciting, typically hazardous, experience or activity.

   "her recent adventures in Italy"

   synonyms:

   exploit, escapade, deed, feat, experience

   • daring and exciting activity calling for enterprise and enthusiasm.

     "she traveled the world in search of adventure"

     synonyms:

     excitement, thrill, stimulation risk, danger, hazard, peril, uncertainty, precariousness "they set off in search of adventure"

verb

dated

verb: adventure; 3rd person present: adventures; past tense: adventured; past participle: adventured; gerund or present participle: adventuring

1.

engage in hazardous and exciting activity, especially the exploration of unknown territory.

"they had adventured into the forest"

Staying home is a new experience for me and I believe it is going to have its fair share of adventure so I want to write it down not only for my memory, but for your pleasure of reading.

I hope you have enjoyed this first post. Get ready for more randomness to follow!