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Hello beautiful momma!
I'm so glad you decided to stop by and read this!
I am a mother to two girls who are 18 months and 1 day apart.
I delivered both of them via water birth at a free-standing birth center.
I share this so that you know when I'm giving my advice you know that I have no idea what a hospital birth is like. I have never had a c-section. I have never been given the option to have an epidural, or any other "drugs." -- I'm sure if when I felt that ring of fire with my first I would have gladly accepted any and everything they offered because holy guacamole I pushed a 14" head out of me!! But I didn't have that option so I had to dig deep into my inner being and tell myself that I could do this, and I WOULD get through it! Then a few short months later I willingly decided I wanted to do it without the option of drugs again! Just call me crazy!
*Even if you are planning on having a hospital birth or have a cesarean section planned
this should still pertain to you.*
You are growing a human inside of you!!
You are now a full-blown badass!
You are experiencing / have experienced selflessness on a WHOLE other level.
You are a mother!
Part 1 : Leading Up To Labor & Delivery
1) Do your kegals!
That is all.
Just do them - every day.
2) Birth Plan
You have either already decided your birth plan, or need to decide what is best for you, your child, and your unique situation.
This is something that a lot of people will want to give their opinion on.
Opinions will fly at you from where the child(ren) MUST be birthed (at a hospital, in the water, in a bed at home, etc.), what position is the absolute best for delivery (squat, laying on back, in the shower, on all fours in a tub, etc.), drugs (you'll harm your baby if you do, you won't be able to get through it without them, etc.), who should be in the room at time of delivery, etc. etc.
Here is what I have to say on all of it : you are the mother! You are the one who has grown the child(ren) inside you. You know yourself.
Educate yourself!
It's great to know options and know that there isn't only one way to birth a child.
You may go into it having a very specific expectation or plan on how it will all go and then mid-labor you might change your mind or the situation may change and you'll have to adapt.
Personally I went into both my labor & deliveries with certain expectations but in the back of my mind convinced myself I would be okay if things went differently.
3) You will be judged.
It's unavoidable. It's inevitable.
Someone, somewhere is going to disagree with your birth plan because that's not how they did it.
Or they feel they know what will be best for you because, "I know you Nicole, you don't take pain very well. You're going to want the drugs. You would be crazy to not have your baby in a hospital. So and so's baby almost died because they used midwives. Do they even know what they're doing?! God created hospitals and modern medicine for a reason. I know they used to go squat in the woods and deliver the baby themselves, but they also died in delivery..." And on it went from multiple woman whom I love and complete strangers who just felt the need to share with me.
Or you decide to drink a coke for the first time in 6 months and gosh darn it don't you know the effects caffeine has on a fetus!?
Or you honestly had no idea that you're not supposed to eat lunch meat so you ate your ham sandwich every day for the first four months because that's what you craved.
The glares. The blatant commenters. The "can I just give you a piece of advice?" givers.
You will be judged.
Don't let any of it get to you. Be confident in the decisions you make.
You are the momma.
4) You were given a "due date."
Use that date as more of a general day the baby will be born around -- give or take up to two weeks.
So many momma's, myself included, get so set on that being the day that we set ourselves up for complete (avoidable) disappointment.
My first was 5 days late.
My second was 6 days late.
Only about 5% of baby's are born on their due date.
5) Don't compare.
You are not your sister. You are not your mother. You are not your best friend. You are not that complete stranger.
YOU ARE YOU!
All momma's are unique.
You just need to do what feels right for you and your baby(ies).
Except don't eat that donut every day, because no matter how right it feels, you will most definitely have a hard time getting your thighs back to normal! ;-)
Honestly though, you're going to be raising that child/those children how you see fit, so you may as well bring them into the world how you see fit too!
6) LOVE.
Remember to love yourself.
Love your body, your forgetful mind you've newly acquired, your stretch marks, and your emotions you can't control.
Love your baby.
Love your baby when they're jabbing their foot in your ribs at 3am and then decide to punch your bladder making you pee yourself!
You got this momma!
Now go eat that donut I made you crave! ;-)
Love,
Nicole
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