To mom's who are about to give birth! [Part 2 : Labor & Delivery]

To listen: LISTEN HERE

Hello (again) beautiful momma!

I'm so glad you decided to stop by and read this!

I am a mother to two girls who are 18 months and 1 day apart.

I delivered both of them via water birth at a free-standing birth center.

I share this so that you know when I'm giving my advice you know that I have no idea what a hospital birth is like. I have never had a c-section. I have never been given the option to have an epidural, or any other "drugs." -- I'm sure if when I felt that ring of fire with my first I would have gladly accepted any and everything they offered because holy guacamole I pushed a 14" head out of me!! But I didn't have that option so I had to dig deep into my inner being and tell myself that I could do this, and I WOULD get through it! Then a few short months later I willingly decided I wanted to do it without the option of drugs again! Just call me crazy!

*If you are planning on having a hospital birth or have a cesarean section planned 

this [part 2] post may not pertain to you.*

Part 2 : Labor & Delivery

You've made your birth plan.
You're contracting.
You can't remember what your birth plan was.
"Holy crap! I'm pushing!!"
Then you're holding your baby and you don't remember the pain you just went through.
You don't remember pooping, you don't remember the tearing/extreme stretching and burning you just felt, you don't remember screaming obscenities at your poor husband "who did this to you!"

Here's the deal with labor and delivery, end result : your child(ren) is (are) born!
They enter this world through you!
That's it.
That's all you really need to get you through. The end result is the birth of your child(ren).



1) Contractions.

Pressure.
Discomfort.
JUST BREATHE!
Honestly, from the bottom of my momma heart to yours, JUST BREATHE!
In through your nose and out through your mouth.
If you remember ONE thing : JUST BREATHE!

Nearing the end when the pain is feeling quite unbearable and all you can picture is stuff from movies and tv shows where you see the mom pushing with all her strength and screaming and crying and it's hectic and you just want her to feel relief already for goodness sake!
It doesn't have to be that way!

With every contraction I took a moment to breathe really deep and get focused.
I imagined myself opening just a little bit more to allow baby to pass through.
I knew it would take time, so I wasn't focused on how long I had already been in labor.
I took each contraction as it came.
I didn't look back at all I had already been through.
I focused on getting through the contraction I was feeling.
There were quite a few that I screamed out in annoyance, or frustration, or pain.
But mainly I just breathed. Really deep. And at the end I made those weird animal-like sounds that I said I would never make because "that's just weird." But it felt right in the moment and so I grunted and made a noise that came deep from the back of my throat!
But mainly I just remembered to breathe!



2) The ring of fire.

Yes, it's a real thing!



3) Exhaustion.

With my first daughter I went into labor around 7pm at night. Had contractions throughout the night (slept some in between). Got to the birth center at 10:30am with contractions five minutes apart lasting 1-1.5minutes. Started pushing around 4:30pm and had her at 5:36pm.
I had not eaten since dinner the night before so during labor my midwife gave me a spoon full of honey, a fruit popsicle, and frozen grapes to give me some energy.

With my second daughter I had "false" labor for about 12 days so the night of actual labor where I started counting contractions started at about 8:30pm and I had her at 11:54pm.
We had prepared to have popsicles, and honey, and frozen grapes but we barely got the tub filled before I had her so there was no real exhaustion with her.



4) Pushing.

With my first I remember the moment so clearly. I was in the tub and yelled, "I'm pushing!"
I can't explain it other than, my body just knew. I knew it was time and with that contraction I pushed.   Now most of us only have ever seen "birth" on tv, so like me, you probably think you need to push with every ounce of energy you have. I pushed for 50 minutes until she came. My midwife kept saying, "just breathe her out. You don't need to push so hard. Don't push this time, just breathe!" I didn't really listen to what she was saying, and just wanted her out so bad. I thought it was never going to happen so I pushed and pushed with all my might. The outcome was a small tear that needed sewn that would cause weeks of uncomfortable walking, peeing, etc. Thankfully it wasn't worse!

With my second I only pushed for 11 minutes. And I honestly never pushed. I BREATHED her out! And I DIDN'T TEAR!!
I totally understood what my midwife was saying the second time.
I did say, "I think she's stuck!" But that was just a moment of weakness and doubt in myself.

Here is where I get real and overshare..but all for the sake of helping a fellow momma out! 

When I was pregnant with my second my sister-in-law had told me to use all of my poops as practice.
I know, I know...I thought it was insane too! Until I tried it!
So every time I had to poop I would "breathe it out."
The difference was life-changing for pushing a child out!
It is somewhat the same sensation, so it makes complete sense that it helped!



5) JOY

Pure freaking JOY!
You are holding a child that you grew inside of you.
That you birthed.
That you get to love for as long as you're living.
It truly is love at first sight.
A moment that has so much built up anticipation.
You meet your son/your daughter, and your life is never the same after.

I'm so excited for you and I may not even know you!
That moment is so uniquely yours, but also something that every momma can totally sympathize with.



6) You're not done, yet!

So you birth your child, and then for some reason in my mind I was like "Sweet, let's pack up and go home!
NOPE!
You continue to have contractions.
Then you have to birth the placenta!
Shoot me freaking NOW!
Then you have to stand up at some point.
And walk.
And pee.

But truly, it's all worth it.
Every ounce of pain is completely worth it.
You brought a child into the world.
You are a momma!

Now go practice breathing your poops out!

Love,
Nicole

To mom's who are about to give birth! [Part 1 : Leading Up To Labor & Delivery]

To listen to this episode : LISTEN HERE

 Hello beautiful momma!

I'm so glad you decided to stop by and read this!

I am a mother to two girls who are 18 months and 1 day apart.

I delivered both of them via water birth at a free-standing birth center.

I share this so that you know when I'm giving my advice you know that I have no idea what a hospital birth is like. I have never had a c-section. I have never been given the option to have an epidural, or any other "drugs." -- I'm sure if when I felt that ring of fire with my first I would have gladly accepted any and everything they offered because holy guacamole I pushed a 14" head out of me!! But I didn't have that option so I had to dig deep into my inner being and tell myself that I could do this, and I WOULD get through it! Then a few short months later I willingly decided I wanted to do it without the option of drugs again! Just call me crazy!

*Even if you are planning on having a hospital birth or have a cesarean section planned 

this should still pertain to you.*

I would like to say Congratulations!!
You are growing a human inside of you!!
You are now a full-blown badass!
You are experiencing / have experienced selflessness on a WHOLE other level.
You are a mother!

Part 1 : Leading Up To Labor & Delivery

1) Do your kegals!

That is all.
Just do them - every day.



2) Birth Plan

You have either already decided your birth plan, or need to decide what is best for you, your child, and your unique situation.
This is something that a lot of people will want to give their opinion on.
Opinions will fly at you from where the child(ren) MUST be birthed (at a hospital, in the water, in a bed at home, etc.), what position is the absolute best for delivery (squat, laying on back, in the shower, on all fours in a tub, etc.), drugs (you'll harm your baby if you do, you won't be able to get through it without them, etc.), who should be in the room at time of delivery, etc. etc.

Here is what I have to say on all of it : you are the mother! You are the one who has grown the child(ren) inside you. You know yourself.
Educate yourself!
It's great to know options and know that there isn't only one way to birth a child.
You may go into it having a very specific expectation or plan on how it will all go and then mid-labor you might change your mind or the situation may change and you'll have to adapt.
Personally I went into both my labor & deliveries with certain expectations but in the back of my mind convinced myself I would be okay if things went differently.



3) You will be judged.

It's unavoidable. It's inevitable.
Someone, somewhere is going to disagree with your birth plan because that's not how they did it.
Or they feel they know what will be best for you because, "I know you Nicole, you don't take pain very well. You're going to want the drugs. You would be crazy to not have your baby in a hospital. So and so's baby almost died because they used midwives. Do they even know what they're doing?! God created hospitals and modern medicine for a reason. I know they used to go squat in the woods and deliver the baby themselves, but they also died in delivery..." And on it went from multiple woman whom I love and complete strangers who just felt the need to share with me.
Or you decide to drink a coke for the first time in 6 months and gosh darn it don't you know the effects caffeine has on a fetus!?
Or you honestly had no idea that you're not supposed to eat lunch meat so you ate your ham sandwich every day for the first four months because that's what you craved.
The glares. The blatant commenters. The "can I just give you a piece of advice?" givers.
You will be judged.
Don't let any of it get to you. Be confident in the decisions you make.
You are the momma.

4) You were given a "due date."

Use that date as more of a general day the baby will be born around -- give or take up to two weeks.
So many momma's, myself included, get so set on that being the day that we set ourselves up for complete (avoidable) disappointment.
My first was 5 days late.
My second was 6 days late.
Only about 5% of baby's are born on their due date.



5) Don't compare.

You are not your sister. You are not your mother. You are not your best friend. You are not that complete stranger.
YOU ARE YOU!
All momma's are unique.
You just need to do what feels right for you and your baby(ies).
Except don't eat that donut every day, because no matter how right it feels, you will most definitely have a hard time getting your thighs back to normal! ;-)
Honestly though, you're going to be raising that child/those children how you see fit, so you may as well bring them into the world how you see fit too!



6) LOVE.

Remember to love yourself.
Love your body, your forgetful mind you've newly acquired, your stretch marks, and your emotions you can't control.
Love your baby.
Love your baby when they're jabbing their foot in your ribs at 3am and then decide to punch your bladder making you pee yourself!

You got this momma!

Now go eat that donut I made you crave! ;-)

Love,
Nicole