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I'm so glad you decided to stop by and read this!
I am a mother to two girls who are 18 months and 1 day apart.
I delivered both of them via water birth at a free-standing birth center.
I share this so that you know when I'm giving my advice you know that I have no idea what a hospital birth is like. I have never had a c-section. I have never been given the option to have an epidural, or any other "drugs." -- I'm sure if when I felt that ring of fire with my first I would have gladly accepted any and everything they offered because holy guacamole I pushed a 14" head out of me!! But I didn't have that option so I had to dig deep into my inner being and tell myself that I could do this, and I WOULD get through it! Then a few short months later I willingly decided I wanted to do it without the option of drugs again! Just call me crazy!
*If you are planning on having a hospital birth or have a cesarean section planned
this should still pertain to you.*
Part 3 : The Aftermath.
Congratulations!!
Now you have an infant and you're supposed to take them home and take care of them, while you yourself need to heal!
1) Taking Care Of You.
Products:
Dermoplast (if you tore - even a little) and Lansinoh HPA Lanolin (if you are breastfeeding) are your new best friends!
Dermoplast numbs your nether regions, so if you tore it takes away most (if not all) of the pain and discomfort down there!
Lanolin helps dry, cracked nipples that aren't used to someone sucking the milk out of them! It's safe for baby too!
*I was in Target buying my lanolin for 2nd babe when a sweet pregnant gal looked at me desperately.
"This is so embarrassing, but do you know where the nipple cream is?! I heard lan-something is the best, and I'm about to give birth and I'm so nervous, and my friend had the worst experience, and then they gave her lan-whatever and then she was fine and I'm just so nervous."
Us mom's need to stick together and support each other.
There are parts of pregnancy, labor & delivery, and the aftermath that I feel aren't talked about. Maybe it's out of embarrassment.
But if my sister-in-law hadn't given me dermoplast I'm not sure I would be living to tell my tale, so I feel the need to share with any and all new momma's who maybe have no idea what they're in for!
Personal:
I made it a goal to shower every day that first week after my babes were born.
I bled for a full six weeks after both my babes.
I got my stomach back ridiculously quick with my first. With my second my muscles separated (known as diastasis recti) so here I am 9 months postpartum and I still have a pooch/rounded belly.
I honestly don't think anyone told me about the contractions you continue to have while your uterus shrinks back to normal size (I'm sure my midwife did and I just didn't realize how painful it would be so I was not mentally prepared). And if you breastfeed it's so intense those first few days while baby feeds. I screamed out in pain and thought I was giving birth again, except this time the reward was not a beautiful child, it was just straight pain and my euphoria had worn off so I was NOT a happy camper.
Speaking of mood - with my first I felt pretty great. Hormones leave your body and you can have mild to severe mood swings. I got migraines (two during labor, and two in the following weeks). With my second my mood was all over the place. Depressed, angry, quiet/internal, and just flat out not feeling like myself.
Talk to your doctor! Get help! Don't be afraid to speak up about any concerns!
When you're running on little to no sleep, you have a child(ren) to take care of all day, you're physically recovering, your husband still expects dinner & a clean house (not blaming him for wanting that..it's just tougher to accomplish for you), and whatever else you're going through can be a lot to handle.
You are not a failure. You are a mother! A new mommy who has a lot going on.
Talk. Talk to someone. Talk to any one. Ask questions.
I cried. A lot.
I still cry. A lot! Over anything and everything, the tears just start flowing!
Do your kegals! Do them while you're pregnant too!
Drink a ton of water!
2) Taking Care Of Baby:
Clipping their fingernails is the worst thing EVER!
The umbilical cord is a strange thing! Our first babe's fell off by day two. Our second babe's started to smell and didn't fall off until around day ten!
CARSEAT - this one freaks me out! Baby's have died because their carseat wasn't installed properly or they weren't strapped in properly. You can take the carseat to your local police station and they will show you how to install it, and then they have you do it in front of them. When strapping baby in the chest clip needs to be in-line with their armpits or higher on their chest (this goes for toddler's too!). If it's too low their shoulders can collapse and they could slip right through..it has happened, so please do what you can to prevent it!
Poop explosions! Visit my post here!
3) Visitors
If someone is coming to meet your baby, they need to bring food!
I don't care if they pick up a single muffin from the gas station - make it known they must bring food!
My sister-in-law set up a week's worth of friends and family to stop by and bring us dinner.
Either you or someone close to you needs to do this for you! They even have websites specifically for this now!
Trust me, the last thing you'll feel like doing is making breakfast, lunch & dinner. And if you're breastfeeding you're going to want snacks throughout the day too.
With our first I had a very difficult time with visitors.
I always feel like I need to host if someone is coming over.
Clean house.
Look presentable.
Offer food and beverages.
When you have a newborn baby it's not that easy to provide these things for your guests.
Maybe it will be for you, supermom! But it was not for me.
I was embarrassed because I could barely stand up to go pee. I was also embarrassed when I was scrambling to keep myself covered while attempting to feed my screaming infant and our guy friends no longer knew how to talk or where to look. I hadn't touched the housework. I could offer beverages, but had to ask someone else to retrieve them.
The best visitor:
Shows up with dinner. (And muffins, and cookies!)
Takes your baby and demands you go take a shower.
Cleans your bathroom.
Leaves within an hour.
Our second was born in February.
Flu season.
And she was our second.
I think we only had two visitors that weren't family!
I felt great (since I didn't tear), and was like "where is everyone?! Does no one want to meet her??"
Again, this is sort of a "you know yourself." You know your limits. Every situation is different.
Just make sure to speak up if you feel your guest is overstaying their welcome - especially if they didn't even bring food! ;-)
4) Document!
Lastly, I would like to tell you to document every little milestone!
Whether it be through writing, photographs/videos, painting, etc.
I have an ongoing "note" on my phone that I write every milestone on. Then when I find time I write it out in the girls' journals.
With our oldest I tell her funny things she says now that she's two!
But when they're under one they are hitting new milestones almost daily so there are lots of fun little things that are so awesome to be able to look back on and say, "oh yeah, you were 8 hours old when you smiled for the first time!"
Love,
Nicole
Now you have an infant and you're supposed to take them home and take care of them, while you yourself need to heal!
1) Taking Care Of You.
Products:
Dermoplast (if you tore - even a little) and Lansinoh HPA Lanolin (if you are breastfeeding) are your new best friends!
Dermoplast numbs your nether regions, so if you tore it takes away most (if not all) of the pain and discomfort down there!
Lanolin helps dry, cracked nipples that aren't used to someone sucking the milk out of them! It's safe for baby too!
*I was in Target buying my lanolin for 2nd babe when a sweet pregnant gal looked at me desperately.
"This is so embarrassing, but do you know where the nipple cream is?! I heard lan-something is the best, and I'm about to give birth and I'm so nervous, and my friend had the worst experience, and then they gave her lan-whatever and then she was fine and I'm just so nervous."
Us mom's need to stick together and support each other.
There are parts of pregnancy, labor & delivery, and the aftermath that I feel aren't talked about. Maybe it's out of embarrassment.
But if my sister-in-law hadn't given me dermoplast I'm not sure I would be living to tell my tale, so I feel the need to share with any and all new momma's who maybe have no idea what they're in for!
Personal:
I made it a goal to shower every day that first week after my babes were born.
I bled for a full six weeks after both my babes.
I got my stomach back ridiculously quick with my first. With my second my muscles separated (known as diastasis recti) so here I am 9 months postpartum and I still have a pooch/rounded belly.
I honestly don't think anyone told me about the contractions you continue to have while your uterus shrinks back to normal size (I'm sure my midwife did and I just didn't realize how painful it would be so I was not mentally prepared). And if you breastfeed it's so intense those first few days while baby feeds. I screamed out in pain and thought I was giving birth again, except this time the reward was not a beautiful child, it was just straight pain and my euphoria had worn off so I was NOT a happy camper.
Speaking of mood - with my first I felt pretty great. Hormones leave your body and you can have mild to severe mood swings. I got migraines (two during labor, and two in the following weeks). With my second my mood was all over the place. Depressed, angry, quiet/internal, and just flat out not feeling like myself.
Talk to your doctor! Get help! Don't be afraid to speak up about any concerns!
When you're running on little to no sleep, you have a child(ren) to take care of all day, you're physically recovering, your husband still expects dinner & a clean house (not blaming him for wanting that..it's just tougher to accomplish for you), and whatever else you're going through can be a lot to handle.
You are not a failure. You are a mother! A new mommy who has a lot going on.
Talk. Talk to someone. Talk to any one. Ask questions.
I cried. A lot.
I still cry. A lot! Over anything and everything, the tears just start flowing!
Do your kegals! Do them while you're pregnant too!
Drink a ton of water!
2) Taking Care Of Baby:
Clipping their fingernails is the worst thing EVER!
The umbilical cord is a strange thing! Our first babe's fell off by day two. Our second babe's started to smell and didn't fall off until around day ten!
CARSEAT - this one freaks me out! Baby's have died because their carseat wasn't installed properly or they weren't strapped in properly. You can take the carseat to your local police station and they will show you how to install it, and then they have you do it in front of them. When strapping baby in the chest clip needs to be in-line with their armpits or higher on their chest (this goes for toddler's too!). If it's too low their shoulders can collapse and they could slip right through..it has happened, so please do what you can to prevent it!
Poop explosions! Visit my post here!
3) Visitors
If someone is coming to meet your baby, they need to bring food!
I don't care if they pick up a single muffin from the gas station - make it known they must bring food!
My sister-in-law set up a week's worth of friends and family to stop by and bring us dinner.
Either you or someone close to you needs to do this for you! They even have websites specifically for this now!
Trust me, the last thing you'll feel like doing is making breakfast, lunch & dinner. And if you're breastfeeding you're going to want snacks throughout the day too.
With our first I had a very difficult time with visitors.
I always feel like I need to host if someone is coming over.
Clean house.
Look presentable.
Offer food and beverages.
When you have a newborn baby it's not that easy to provide these things for your guests.
Maybe it will be for you, supermom! But it was not for me.
I was embarrassed because I could barely stand up to go pee. I was also embarrassed when I was scrambling to keep myself covered while attempting to feed my screaming infant and our guy friends no longer knew how to talk or where to look. I hadn't touched the housework. I could offer beverages, but had to ask someone else to retrieve them.
The best visitor:
Shows up with dinner. (And muffins, and cookies!)
Takes your baby and demands you go take a shower.
Cleans your bathroom.
Leaves within an hour.
Our second was born in February.
Flu season.
And she was our second.
I think we only had two visitors that weren't family!
I felt great (since I didn't tear), and was like "where is everyone?! Does no one want to meet her??"
Again, this is sort of a "you know yourself." You know your limits. Every situation is different.
Just make sure to speak up if you feel your guest is overstaying their welcome - especially if they didn't even bring food! ;-)
4) Document!
Lastly, I would like to tell you to document every little milestone!
Whether it be through writing, photographs/videos, painting, etc.
I have an ongoing "note" on my phone that I write every milestone on. Then when I find time I write it out in the girls' journals.
With our oldest I tell her funny things she says now that she's two!
But when they're under one they are hitting new milestones almost daily so there are lots of fun little things that are so awesome to be able to look back on and say, "oh yeah, you were 8 hours old when you smiled for the first time!"
I wish you nothing but the best momma!
Love,
Nicole
