To mom's who are about to give birth! [Part 2 : Labor & Delivery]

To listen: LISTEN HERE

Hello (again) beautiful momma!

I'm so glad you decided to stop by and read this!

I am a mother to two girls who are 18 months and 1 day apart.

I delivered both of them via water birth at a free-standing birth center.

I share this so that you know when I'm giving my advice you know that I have no idea what a hospital birth is like. I have never had a c-section. I have never been given the option to have an epidural, or any other "drugs." -- I'm sure if when I felt that ring of fire with my first I would have gladly accepted any and everything they offered because holy guacamole I pushed a 14" head out of me!! But I didn't have that option so I had to dig deep into my inner being and tell myself that I could do this, and I WOULD get through it! Then a few short months later I willingly decided I wanted to do it without the option of drugs again! Just call me crazy!

*If you are planning on having a hospital birth or have a cesarean section planned 

this [part 2] post may not pertain to you.*

Part 2 : Labor & Delivery

You've made your birth plan.
You're contracting.
You can't remember what your birth plan was.
"Holy crap! I'm pushing!!"
Then you're holding your baby and you don't remember the pain you just went through.
You don't remember pooping, you don't remember the tearing/extreme stretching and burning you just felt, you don't remember screaming obscenities at your poor husband "who did this to you!"

Here's the deal with labor and delivery, end result : your child(ren) is (are) born!
They enter this world through you!
That's it.
That's all you really need to get you through. The end result is the birth of your child(ren).



1) Contractions.

Pressure.
Discomfort.
JUST BREATHE!
Honestly, from the bottom of my momma heart to yours, JUST BREATHE!
In through your nose and out through your mouth.
If you remember ONE thing : JUST BREATHE!

Nearing the end when the pain is feeling quite unbearable and all you can picture is stuff from movies and tv shows where you see the mom pushing with all her strength and screaming and crying and it's hectic and you just want her to feel relief already for goodness sake!
It doesn't have to be that way!

With every contraction I took a moment to breathe really deep and get focused.
I imagined myself opening just a little bit more to allow baby to pass through.
I knew it would take time, so I wasn't focused on how long I had already been in labor.
I took each contraction as it came.
I didn't look back at all I had already been through.
I focused on getting through the contraction I was feeling.
There were quite a few that I screamed out in annoyance, or frustration, or pain.
But mainly I just breathed. Really deep. And at the end I made those weird animal-like sounds that I said I would never make because "that's just weird." But it felt right in the moment and so I grunted and made a noise that came deep from the back of my throat!
But mainly I just remembered to breathe!



2) The ring of fire.

Yes, it's a real thing!



3) Exhaustion.

With my first daughter I went into labor around 7pm at night. Had contractions throughout the night (slept some in between). Got to the birth center at 10:30am with contractions five minutes apart lasting 1-1.5minutes. Started pushing around 4:30pm and had her at 5:36pm.
I had not eaten since dinner the night before so during labor my midwife gave me a spoon full of honey, a fruit popsicle, and frozen grapes to give me some energy.

With my second daughter I had "false" labor for about 12 days so the night of actual labor where I started counting contractions started at about 8:30pm and I had her at 11:54pm.
We had prepared to have popsicles, and honey, and frozen grapes but we barely got the tub filled before I had her so there was no real exhaustion with her.



4) Pushing.

With my first I remember the moment so clearly. I was in the tub and yelled, "I'm pushing!"
I can't explain it other than, my body just knew. I knew it was time and with that contraction I pushed.   Now most of us only have ever seen "birth" on tv, so like me, you probably think you need to push with every ounce of energy you have. I pushed for 50 minutes until she came. My midwife kept saying, "just breathe her out. You don't need to push so hard. Don't push this time, just breathe!" I didn't really listen to what she was saying, and just wanted her out so bad. I thought it was never going to happen so I pushed and pushed with all my might. The outcome was a small tear that needed sewn that would cause weeks of uncomfortable walking, peeing, etc. Thankfully it wasn't worse!

With my second I only pushed for 11 minutes. And I honestly never pushed. I BREATHED her out! And I DIDN'T TEAR!!
I totally understood what my midwife was saying the second time.
I did say, "I think she's stuck!" But that was just a moment of weakness and doubt in myself.

Here is where I get real and overshare..but all for the sake of helping a fellow momma out! 

When I was pregnant with my second my sister-in-law had told me to use all of my poops as practice.
I know, I know...I thought it was insane too! Until I tried it!
So every time I had to poop I would "breathe it out."
The difference was life-changing for pushing a child out!
It is somewhat the same sensation, so it makes complete sense that it helped!



5) JOY

Pure freaking JOY!
You are holding a child that you grew inside of you.
That you birthed.
That you get to love for as long as you're living.
It truly is love at first sight.
A moment that has so much built up anticipation.
You meet your son/your daughter, and your life is never the same after.

I'm so excited for you and I may not even know you!
That moment is so uniquely yours, but also something that every momma can totally sympathize with.



6) You're not done, yet!

So you birth your child, and then for some reason in my mind I was like "Sweet, let's pack up and go home!
NOPE!
You continue to have contractions.
Then you have to birth the placenta!
Shoot me freaking NOW!
Then you have to stand up at some point.
And walk.
And pee.

But truly, it's all worth it.
Every ounce of pain is completely worth it.
You brought a child into the world.
You are a momma!

Now go practice breathing your poops out!

Love,
Nicole